Sweet Poison
by Aeriel Cross
Summary: Kira's in Ichimaru's team now, and he knows he's stepping into a death trap - but it's not like he can help himself...and why is Aizen keeping an eye on him all the time? Ichimaru x Kira, Aizen x Kira
1. Prologue

Title: Sweet Poison

Anime: Bleach

Pairings: Ichimaru x Kira

Genre: Romance / Angst

Summary: When Kira first met his taichou, he knew he was falling into a death trap, but it wasn't something that he could control.

N: First bleach ficcy!! Wanted Hitsu x Gin but plot only half formed…I'll try to juggle D.GM and Bleach so don't worry!! Read and review?

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach.

Prologue:

When he was in Shinigami Academy, he was always surrounded by the students due to his talents, but he never felt anything about it. His powers were enough for them, but not for him. He always wanted to be stronger, to fill in that hollow gap in his life. How he wished he could be like Abarai, or Hinamori. Then, he found him. It was on a night, the air thick with fear, surrounded by Hollows. He thought he was going to die, until a soft swishing sound and light footsteps reached his ears, fabric brushing past him. He turned to see silver hair gleaming in tranquil moonlight, shinigami robes fluttering in the wind, the fukutaichou badge of the third division firmly tied to his left arm for all to see.

'_Ikorose, Shinso.'_

That smile was etched into his memory forever.


	2. Devotion

Chapter 1: Devotion

Author: Aeriel cross

Disclaimer: I do not own bleach.

Hurried footsteps sounded down the corridor, as Kira ran ( almost ) to the office of the Third squad, at the same time trying to tie on his fukutaichou armband. He could hardly believe his ears when he was posted as the fukutaichou of the Third Squad, in the same division as the man whose footsteps he's been trying to follow all the time. It was just this morning that it was made official and he could barely contain his excitement now that his taichou had summoned for him to go to his office, even though it was rather late at night.

Skidding to a halt before the door to the office, Kira gulped and shuddered despite himself. This was it, he finally got to meet his taichou, his idol. Taking a deep breath to steady himself, and hoping that he wasn't looking too flustered, he raised a fist and knocked tentatively.

'Com' in.' A silky voice purred from within the office.

Sliding the door open, Kira stepped for the first time in his life into the office of the third division, the place where he was probably going to work in for quite some time. The room was large, brightly lit and neat. A few shelves of books were backed up against the wall, filled with thick leather-bound volumes, one or two cabinets in the corners of the room. A long window yawned across the entire side of one wall, where the two office tables were set facing each other. A rug lined the centre of the room, on which a low table and a few cushions laid, and other than that the room was almost bare.

It took Kira a few seconds to locate his taichou since the captain was wearing a white vest that blended in very well with the background, not including that he hadn't moved or spoken ever since Kira entered. There he lounged, stretched senously across a tall backed wooden chair, reclining on one of the arms, chin propped on one hand and legs dangling over the other, studying him with interest, grinning away like a Cheshire cat. Kira blushed and dropped his gaze to the floor, shifting uncomfortably.

'I…eh…I didn't notice you…sir…'he stuttered, thinking that he probably looked like a fool all in the world.

'Ya my new fukutaichou?' Ichimaru grinned. 'Na' bad, Aizen…'

'…huh, sir?' Kira looked puzzled, but his gaze remained to stay on his feet.

'Nu'thing, nu'thing,' Ichimaru waved an airy dismissal. 'And call me taichou. Ichimaru taichou. Must've bin' hard fer ya ta become fukutaichou, huh?'

'Not…not really, sir…I mean, Ichimaru taichou…'

'Oh, 'not-really' hard, issit?'

'Nn…no!! I didn't mean it that way!' Kira realized how he must have sounded, and hurried to correct it, getting more and more flustered. 'I mean-'

He sensed movement from the corner of his eyes, and the soft swishing of robes as Ichimaru finally got up from his chair and sidled over to Kira, standing directly before him. Kira could feel his pulse quickening.

'Look at me.' An order as simple as that. But it sounded menancing. Threatening.

When Kira didn't, Ichimaru slipped a finger beneath Kira's chin and forced his head up. Trembling, Kira raised his eyes to meet Ichimaru's and froze, like a deer caught in the headlights of a car. It was…he couldn't find any words to describe it, but if he must, it felt as though Ichimaru taichou was holding his zanpaktou to his throat, even though Gin hadn't moved an inch at all. He couldn't move, couldn't breathe, couldn't look away, captivated by the snake's charm. He could see nothing but domination, destruction, blood thirst in his taichou. If he wanted to, he could kill him now, in cold blood. There was no mercy, no nothing, only a thirst for power, to see pain. He longed to step away, his instincts told him to run, screaming.

_No._

Shaking himself, reminding himself that this was his taichou, he drew in a deep shuddering breath and looked again. Murder and violence aside he saw that there was something else, but Ichimaru had hidden it up and well. It wasn't so fearful now, perhaps it was just his imagination before. Seeing the change in Kira, Ichimaru's grin widened. This time round, his second fukutaichou seemed much better than the last, whom he had killed with Shinso 'accidently' on a battlefield once. This one didn't seem to be the type to babble, and since Aizen chose him, it would probably be fine. He seemed somewhat familiar though, some how…

'Wha's ya name?'

'Kira…Kira Izuru.'

That's right, it would probably be fun to break him. It was just Aizen's style, he knew what tastes Ichimaru had – of course he would rather have Abarai instead but Aizen said that the kid was more trouble than he was worth. A feral smile graced his lips and he watched with satisfaction as Kira's eyes widened in fear again. Letting go of his fukutaichou, Ichimaru instead slung a hand around Kira's shoulders and pulled him to walk with him.

'I'll show ya where ya livin' quarters are, huh. It's next ta mine.'

'…I…you need not go to such troubles for me, Ichimaru-taichou,' Kira squirmed, uncomfortable with his closeness with the man. He knew taichou was sly, slippery and hard to grasp – you'd never know when he was telling a lie and when's he's not, but beneath that calm façade he was sure a storm was brewing. A snake, that's what Ichimaru Gin was, but for now, Kira had decided to stay on his safe side to observe.

'Na matter, I'm bored anyway. So welcome ta the third Division – trust me, ya goin' to have a tough time here.'

'I…I'll manage.'

For some reason, that night, Kira dreamt of a snake luring in a prey with its charm, and its prey inched closer, and closer, and the snake shot out, suddenly, sinking its venomous fangs into the thing's neck. It squealed, struggled, but the snake held tight, then it was still. Kira woke from his dream, and somehow, he felt as if he were prey.

A.N: …maa…I lost my writing style. I'm so sorry!! I'll try my best to get it back. Oh, how I love Ichimaru and Hitsu by the way!! Whee!


	3. One step off and the dance stops

Chapter 2: One step off and the dance stops

Author: Aeriel Cross

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach

A.N: Stupid title, but it means the grace period Ichimaru was giving Kira. It's unlucky how little Gin x Hitsu fanfics are. Anyone kind enough to write one for meh? 3

For the next few days, Kira finally learnt how difficult it was being Ichimaru's fukutaichou. Whenever the Tenth division sent paperwork over, no matter how hard he tried, he could never get Ichimaru taichou to stay on focus for more than ten minutes, so he ended up doing everything himself which was tough work. Hinamori made it looks so easy, getting work done. It only he had a captain like Hitsugaya taichou or Kuchiki taichou!! But Kira never complains.

Not even if Ichimaru took a mile for an inch.

It was just any other usual day in the afternoon, doing and managing paperwork in the office. A slightly cold wind blew in from the window, carrying the smell of freshly cut grass, slightly ruffling the pages of work. Kira paused for a moment to tidy up the stacks of paper, before in one smooth movement, dipped his writing brush into his ink well and resumed writing, long, graceful curving strokes across the page. His captain was out, probably prowling the corridors in search of fun, and so he was left to his own devices.

One new thing that Kira learnt was that Ichimaru didn't like being bored. He didn't like timetables, planners, routines. He would always find a way somehow to escape his boredom, which in other words is equivalent to shirking his duty. However, it seemed that Ichimaru's way of 'fun' was taking sadistic pleasure in other's pain, and sorrow, or just by merely causing them pain. He hadn't seen it for himself, no, but he had heard it from the other seats of the Third division over lunch.

Of course, it wasn't so hard to associate Ichimaru with fear. He could be grinning away for all he was worth, but he could strike fear into the souls of people they moment they set their eyes on him. So far, Kira wasn't that terrified of him yet, thinking of him only as a lazy taichou, more like a cat than a captain. But every time he looked at him, he felt his heart thudding painfully against his chest, and his breathing would turn restricted. It was a little embarrassing, to be in Ichimaru's presence, for some reason.

_So much for my fandom,_ thought Kira dryly as he dipped his brush into the ink well again. _But Ichimaru taichou probably doesn't even-_

At the sound of the door sliding open, Kira jumped at the intrusive sound, and a huge black smudge streaked across the page. Glancing at the intruder, he sighed and crumpled up the paper.

'Ichimaru-taichou.'

The captain grinned at his fukutaichou, sliding the door close behind him with his foot and sidled over to his own work desk, and Kira couldn't help but notice how untidy Gin's table was, a stack of paper sitting snugly on a corner with a few writing brushes and an ink well that was so clean it was obvious they were never used, and the rest was…well, littered with colourful candy wrappers, pages with random doodle on them, rubber bands and a cup of sencha long turned cold.

'Maa', Kira, another stack??' Ichimaru whined as he flopped down in his chair. Looking woefully at the blonde shinigami as if begging him to save him from the terrifying paperwork. How typical.

'Hai, taichou. After I've finished this…' Kira replied obediently, but his shoulders slumped, a giveaway of what he was truly thinking. It was a small, unnoticeable gesture, but Ichimaru noticed it all the same, taking in his lieutenant's resigned posture and tired look, then his eyes travelled to the plate of rice cakes on the table beside Kira's tea cup which was left untouched. He remembered setting the plate there this morning before he left as tea for his fukutaichou, both as a token of appreciation to Kira for backing up his work and so that his dear hardworking fukutaichou wouldn't go hungry and there it was, everything exactly in the same place as he had left it . Kira probably hadn't taken a single break since this morning, which explains the taller pile of documents labeled 'done' outweighing those labeled 'undone'.

Picking up the papers on his table, he moved over to Kira's desk and plonked them down on the surface. He could have sworn that Kira's expression turned to a pained one for a fleeting moment. Well, he probably knew how to change that.

Half sitting on the arm of his fukutaichou's chair, Ichimaru gave a sly grin. He had been holding back from his fun for a while, probably it just wouldn't hurt for a taster…

Poke.

Kira twitched, but continued writing.

Poke.

Another twitch.

Pokepokepokepokepoke.

'Taichou!' Kira's voice was firm. 'Don't.'

Then Ichimaru started fiddling with his hair.

Blow flick tug.

Tug tug.

Tug.

'Ow!! Stop that!' Kira complained when Ichimaru gave a particularly hard tug on his hair, and then stiffened as arms circled round his shoulders and pulled him into a soft embrace.

'Ya asked me to stop wha'?' Ichimaru's soft voice purred beside his ear, blowing hot breath down his neck, causing him to shiver. Kira swallowed.

'N…nothing, taichou…' he could feel cold fingertips tracing his jaw line, and the features of his face, and he could tell that Ichimaru was grinning and thoroughly enjoying himself. 'Taichou…I have work…to do…'

'Oh, really? I didn' know,' Ichimaru nudged Kira off his chair and sat in his place instead, pulling Kira onto his lap.

'Tai…tai-chou—mfft!!!' Kira exclaimed in shock, eyes widening, but was silenced when Ichimaru took the opportunity to stuff a rice cake into Kira's mouth. 'Mmm!!!' Ichimaru chuckled as Kira's face steadily turned into a deep red colour from the efforts of trying to spit the rice cake out but being unable to do so, and at the same time trying to break free from Ichimaru's embrace.

'Maa', stay still,' Ichimaru ordered and Kira stopped struggling, instead turning limp. What did his taichou want? What did he do wrong? He repressed a shudder when Ichimaru nibbled at his right ear affectionately. 'Ya sit there an' relax, I can finish the paperwork for ya,' Ichimaru hummed as he reached over to pick up Kira's writing brush. 'I do have a duty to fulfill, anyway.'

That shut Kira up, leaving him no grounds for arguments. If he protested it would mean deterring Ichimaru from his work, and if he ever said 'I have a duty', taichou would really seriously mean it, and besides, slacking and procrastination wasn't a habit that Kira would want to encourage in his taichou. He watched Ichimaru slash his signature on the papers in awe, and it occurred to him that he had never seen Ichimaru work before, much less know what his signature looks like. Long, graceful calligraphy overlapping each other made it hard to read, but it was beautiful in its own way, sharp at turns, smooth and flowing in curves, exactly like the owner of the name.

He slowly relaxed, leaning back against his captain, wondering what to do other than chewing up the rice cake. It only occurred to him that he was hungry. How long was it since he had his breakfast? That was probably about seven hours ago. As if reading his mind, Ichimaru tousled his hair kindly.

'Ya should go for lunch, huh?'

Kira nodded quietly, feeling ashamed that he needed to be reminded by his taichou to have lunch and slid of Ichimaru's lap, a little reluctant to leave. 'Then…I'll be leaving,' Kira bowed respectfully. Reaching up, Ichimaru pulled Kira down to kiss him on the lips, a light brushing of soft lips against soft lips, and smirked inwardly to feel Kira shudder, before letting him go. Kira moved back involuntarily in shock, hand covering his mouth, eyes wide and confused. Ichimaru could tell that it took all of Kira's will to resist the urge to back up against the wall to hide from him or to flee – he could see the confused fear there in his fukutaichou's eyes and smiled again, this time, outwardly.

'Ya may go,' he said dismissively, and Kira turned and half ran out of the room.

Ichimaru watched Kira round the door, before leaning back against the chair with a sigh, deciding that paperwork in exchange for a kiss is not too bad a bargain. He was glad about the reaction that he had sparked in Kira, and licked his lips. 'Yare yare…it's just the beginning after all.'

His grin widened into a feral one as he put his brush to paper and in a sort of a significant way, slashed his name down on a document where the ink lay, shining and gleaming, to dry.

A.N: Yep, the second chapter's up!! I hereby apologize for the previously bold font of the story but as you can see, I've changed it now. If it wasn't for all your reviews, I would never have known!! Thanks for reading and for your support – if you review you'd make my day too!! Domoarigato!!


	4. Aftermath and the shadows of fear

Chapter 3: Aftermath and shadows of fear

Author: Aeriel Cross

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach.

N: To save space and misspelling of names, I shall send review replies to you all. Those who haven't received one yet and want to get one can tell me. They should all be sent already anyway. Thank you for all your reviews! How about for more Kira torturing?? Fast forwards to a few weeks/ 2 months later!!!

Kira was afraid.

There was only one word that could describe his turmoil of feelings now – _Fear_.

It was night now, the moon casting slender silver beams into the room through the open windows, chasing the lurking darkness in the room into corners, but it couldn't banish the oppressing darkness in his heart, the pressing fear that made breathing near impossible. A gentle wind blew in, and he shivered, huddling deeper into the warm safety of his futon instead, the entire time alert for any soft approaching footsteps. He just simply couldn't forget what Ichimaru had whispered into his ear after dinner before he left for his taichou gathering, organized by Shunsui which probably is some sort of a party.

_-flashback-_

_They were in the canteen, sitting across one another at the table, having dinner. While the other teams chatted noisily with each other, the only thing that passed between Kira and Ichimaru was dead silence, and it made Kira highly uncomfortable. It wasn't the silence that made his feel this way, but instead the way Ichimaru was staring at him, as if he were some sort of dessert or something. He shifted awkwardly, trying to ignore him but the gaze drilled holes into his head. Every time he chanced a glance up Ichimaru would still be smiling at him innocently as if he didn't do anything. The pressure was truly heavy._

_At length, Yachiru popped her head up next to Ichimaru's elbow, grinning. 'Ichimaru-taichou!! Can I have your watermelon please? Ken-chan refused to give me his!!!' she tugged on his sleeve hopefully. Ichimaru pretended to consider, as Yachiru whined, and finally pretended to give in._

'_Ya, why na'?' he grinned playfully. 'I'll miss it, nah.'_

'_Yay!! Ichimaru taichou, you're awesome!!' Yachiru cheered, taking the slice of watermelon from Ichimaru. 'Kan-chan is so mean, here's a candy for you!!' Kira heard Kenpachi grunt two tables away as Yachiru put a colourfully wrapped candy before Ichimaru and peered up into his face._

'_What're you staring at, Ichimaru-taichou??' she asked innocently._

'_Nah, just contemplating my dinner,' Ichimaru replied slyly, looking at Kira meaningfully, and Kira shuddered. It was clear that Ichimaru wasn't referring to his dinner, more referring to him. He felt nauseous even as he forced himself to eat. In this tense moment, a shinigami joined their table, her hair pinned up neatly into a bun and carrying a book imperiously. _

'_Ichimaru-taichou.' She greeted him politely, bowing her head slightly, and Ichimaru looked her over._

'_Nanao.' He returned her greeting at length. 'Somethin' da matter? Ya all ruffed up an' all.'_

_Nanao pushed her thin rimmed spectacles further up her nose, sighing in exasperation. 'Kyouraku taichou would like al taichous to take part in his…ahem…gathering tonight. Ichimaru taichou, you're invited as well.' The disapproving scowl on her face only told Kira that the 'gathering' was probably a party that involves a lot of drinking._

'_Sounds fun,' Ichimaru propped his chin on his hand. 'Hmm, Kira?'_

'_Uh…um…I have work to do which must be handed in to soutaichou tomorrow…' he quickly cooked up an excuse for himself, wishing himself away from the presence of his captain for as long as possible._

'_I see. Well, too bad ya be missin' da fun.'_

_Nanao nodded in acknowledgement, and left to inform her captain, Yachiru clinging onto her shoulder. Ichimaru stoof so suddenly that Kira jumped, wondering if anything was the matter. _

'_Tonight.' He whispered next to Kira's ear, so soft that only he could hear, then turned and sauntered away without even a backward glance._

_-end flashback-_

For the past few months, Ichimaru had grown more and more obsessive ( or rather, dominating ) over Kira ever since that kiss. Kira had been avoiding Ichimaru as much as he could after that, but being fukutaichou, there weren't many places to hide in, and whenever he thought he did, Ichimaru always managed to find him, taunting his efforts, a silent message to him that Ichimaru always knew where he was.

He didn't like having his movements tracked, he didn't like things that were out of order. Kira preferred everything by schedule, something out of line would put him into utter confusion, and he would be lost, even though he could usually regain himself quickly. But this was way too much for him – perhaps it was the wrong way to describe it. He was afraid of getting hurt, being left behind. But more than that, he was afraid of Ichimaru, of his strength, his power, of what he could do. He didn't know anything about his taichou, yet he knew everything about him. He was afraid, when Ichimaru suddenly pinned him to the wall, confronting him innocently where he had been, or why he had been avoiding him, or maybe for a sudden forced kiss, to show Kira who was the master there, who was in control.

Nearing these weeks, Ichimaru had made it even more obvious, taking it further than just 'private', and Kira was sure Ichimaru did it on purpose. He would sling and arm over Kira's shoulders hugging him to his side sometimes when they were walking down the corridors, and he always included subtle hints of his possession over Kira, and more than once, when Ichimaru was kissing him, some shinigami or other were present.

Rumours spreaded, like wildfire. People that used to tease Kira taunted him no more, treating him politely in a distant manner, and a larger number avoided him, not wanting to associate themselves with the Third division captain's 'pet'. People talked behind his back, as if he couldn't hear, scurrying away fearfully when they saw him. Stares down the corridors, hushed whispers. He was more and more distanced from the rest, singled out and branded as Ichimaru's property – if it was Ichimaru's plan, it was working well, he thought bitterly.

Many a times he would wake up to find Ichimaru lying beside him in his futon, occasionally asleep but usually propped up on an elbow, observing him, his smile betraying nothing, as Kira scrambled up to get away from him, but as time passed, Ichimaru would hold down to him, leaning over him, rendering him helpless and immobilized.

_You are mine, _he seemed to say, _Mine._

It was terrible – he felt so alone. Somehow his friends were all too busy to talk to him, and each day became a routine – to wake up in the morning next to his silver haired taichou, before scrambling to wash up facing a mountain of paperwork, constantly being bothered by Ichimaru for the rest of the day, checking out on the doings of the Third division which hopefully Ichimaru wouldn't follow, and so on.

It was so cold, he was suffocating.

This time, unlike when they were surrounded by Hollows, there was no one to help him or to back him up.

This time, he was all alone.

Soft thudding footsteps in the corridor outside his room pulled him back to the present, and he lay huddled beneath his blanket, waiting with his heart in his mouth, and sure enough, his door slid quietly open a few seconds later. Ichimaru moved quietly like a cat, making no sound, and Kira only knew where he was when the soft rustling of cloth reached his ears as Ichimaru settled himself down on the futon next to Kira. He felt the soft movement of wind as Ichimaru lightly removed his blanket, brushing a few strands of hair away from his face – He could be sure Ichimaru taichou knew he was awake, even if he was pretending to sleep.

Kira gasped, eyes flying open, then, as hands roughly seized his wrists and pinned them above his head, looking right into crimson orbs that were Ichimaru's eyes, for the first time. His mouth opened in a silent scream, as he struggled desperately to throw the other man off him, but his taichou was dead weight, holding him down effortlessly. However, the only thing that Kira managed to do was to further entangle himself in the bed sheets, and he lay there, limp and out of breath, resigned to his fate, squeezing his eyes tightly shut and turned his face away from the horror that was to come. The only sound that filled the room was his harsh breathing, loud in the silence.

He flinched, as cold fingertips touched his cheek, trailing a line down to his neck, leaving goose bumps on his skin.

'What're ya so scared of, Izuru?' The silky soft voice murmured in his ear, as always, like poison, so sweet but yet deadly. 'I'm sure I'm na' that frightening.' He merely responded then by burying his face further into the pillow.

'I'm na' goin' to hurt ya…why do ya keep on avoidin' me?' Ichimaru's voice was faintly sad, but Ichimaru being Ichimaru, it could well be crocodile tears, as far as Kira was concerned. He felt a finger force his chin up, and soft lips pressing down hard on his own, demanding a reaction from him, growing more intense by the second –

'_Noo!!'_

Kira cried out, and Ichimaru pulled away, silent. Slowly, Kira opened his eyes and looked up into his taichou's face, afraid of what he might see. Would Ichimaru punish him?? What did he do? The moon came from behind the clouds to once again throw silvery light into the room, and Kira saw Ichimaru clearly then. He was still pinning him down, his face a mere inches away from his own. He believed that he had never seen his captain this beautiful before, and 'beautiful' was hardly a word to describe him then. The soft moonlight illuminated his soft, silvery hair that fell around his face, and his pale complexion glowed in the night. The crimson eyes were dark with an emotion that Kira couldn't quite put a finger on, and the man was no longer smiling, too, calm façade gone.

For a while, none of them spoke. Then Kira felt his hands being released as Ichimaru stood up, away from him, causing Kira to shiver from the sudden cold as the heat from Ichimaru's body left him.

'I…Ichimaru taichou…' Kira sat up now, staring up at his taichou, now feeling a little abashed of his actions earlier – he could see how Ichimaru was hurt, if he didn't misread that emotion in his eyes, and although he was afraid of the man he didn't like to make the man feel down or anything.

'And I'd have hoped tha' ya would have trusted me better…' Ichimaru murmured softly, so soft that Kira had to strain to hear them. 'I see that I'm wrong now.'

The genuine sadness in his captain's voice struck a chord in the lieutenant's heart, and doubt began to form, emotions running through him quickly chasing one after another, the blonde himself sitting there dazed as Ichimaru turned to go.

'Wait…!!!'

Ichimaru stopped in the doorway and turned to look at Kira expectantly, still unsmiling, waiting. 'I…how about a drink together, Ichimaru-taichou?' Kira suggested furtively, trying to make up for his blunder. True, Ichimaru was frightening, but when he saw him in the moonlight for once his idiotic smile gone from his face, he was for once able to see the innermost feelings of his taichou – sadness. He didn't know what compelled him to do so, it was probably a sudden impulse to make him want to know Ichimaru better, possibly one he might regret later on, but for now, he wanted to at least placate Ichimaru, to let him know he was sorry. He could sense surprise in the man, rare coming from one with a character of a kitsune, as he looked at Kira thoughtfully, then without a word, turned and left. Taking it as a silent permission to do so, Kira scrambled to get up and follow his taichou to the office of their division, where he was sure there were some stocks of tea and sake in the storeroom at the back.

He couldn't remember much later on then that night, but he knew they discussed about a lot of things between cups of sake till daylight broke through the sky to reach into the office. However, the only thing he did remember clearly was that as he fell asleep at the low table in the room, he felt a heavy cloth being draped over his shoulders, Ichimaru's haori, and Ichimaru saying something about him catching a cold, but more distinctively, a light kiss on the top of his head and the words,' It's the only way I know how to love you, Izuru…' ,before the sound of a door sliding shut came, and he drifted off to sleep.

A.N: Not as good quality as the ones before…what a long one. First, I apologise for fast forwarding to a few months later….i know it's kinda wrong but anyway. Like I said, main events come first unless any of you like fillers? I dunno how to write a lemon, and too scared to write one, and I don't have much practice on them. Any references to writing those you would recommend me? Anyway I hope you're still enjoying the story so far pardon my horrible writing skills, and please review! Domoarigato! Btw, start of year cosfest is this Saturday!! Whee!!!


	5. Beginnings of Thunder

Chapter 4

Title: Beginnings of Thunder

Author: Aeriel Cross

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach.

A.N: A filler!! Kind of, I guess. The lemon should be coming around soon in the next few chapters, maybe. Aizen's part too!! Kyaa!!! I kind of love writing rain scenes and night scenes…I've gotten my writing style back but now my plot's wavering…

'…yes sir…casualties 47…a total of 3…hai, hai…'

The shinigami's report continued to ring in his ears, as Kira stood numbly alone outside on the hillside. It had been a seemingly peaceful afternoon when he woke up, Ichimaru taichou nowhere to be seen, and he had made himself a cup of tea to soothe his throbbing headache from the hangover and started on his paperwork, waiting for the time when Ichimaru would come sauntering back full of complaints and excuses – until the hell butterfly fluttered into his office and hovered around his head.

He had not heard the message, and had dashed out of the office with no time to waste, in the way thrusting his zanpaktou into his belt. Three Hollows had invaded Sereitei, somehow, and the 5th division was holding it at bay, and was requesting help from the Third Division. Hastily assembling a team he had hurried to the scene, dispatching one of the officers to inform Ichimaru taichou. If only he had more time to get help, but there was none to spare.

He remembered that the scene was drastic, the dead and the dying lying on the ground in a crimson pool of blood, while more rushed in to fill in the gaps in the ranks. The Hollows were too large to imagine, and too horrendous. Everything passed in utter confusion and chaos – blinding spells, explosions and the grating, earth – shaking roar of the Hollows. One was downed by Aizen taichou, but still two remained. Kira had lost no time in assembling the men to attack the next one.

He couldn't really remember the exact details, just flashes of it, the cries of men, screams, and crimson red…he only did kind of remember one thing when Ichimaru taichou arrived. He had turned to see the captain strolling towards the battle scene idly as if he were strolling through a garden, heard the metal hiss as he drew Shinso, the slight flash of pain as Shinso shot pass him to impale the Hollows behind him, cutting him lightly on the cheek. 'Ah,' said Ichimaru, scratching his chin. 'My bad.'

Withdrawing Shinso, he sheathed it as he approached Kira, and he had reached out a hand to wipe the blood trickling down the side of Kira's face, grinning. 'Ya should have waited for me, Kira.' Leaning over, he was about to lick the blood away when a shrill scream made Kira turn, just in time to witness Hinamori, fukutaichou of the 5th Division, throw herself in the path of a Hollow's attack to the back of her captain.

As if in slow motion, Kira watched as the enormous claw of the Hollow push slowly through the seemingly thick air, tearing into the chest of the fukutaichou and emerging through her back, her life's blood splattering onto the ground, staining it a deep red, and slowly, she fell to the ground, eyes wide in shock and surprise, mouth slightly open as if to say something, and even before she hit the ground, Kira already knew that she was beyond saving.

'_Hinamori!!' _ Aizen taichou saw it too then, and swiftly ran to his fukutaichou's aid, regardless of the Hollow that remained behind, rearing back for another attack on the remaining survivors. Without even glancing at the Hollow, he had raised his sword and brought it down in a movement so fast that Kira had hardly seen it, a streak of light bursting out of the attack and slicing the monster into half, and even as it was disintegrating, Aizen was taking Hinamori into his arms, feeling her wrists for a pulse, as blood stained his robes a dark red.

_Please be alive._

'Aizen taichou!!' Unohana taichou hurried to the fifth captain's side with Isane, having just arrived with the rest of her division. 'Leave this to me, I will handle this. Isane – tend to Aizen taihcou.'

Kira wanted to run over, to try and help, but he found himself glued to the floor, and that Ichimaru had his arms tightly around him, a gesture of reassurance. His heart thudded painfully as he watched Unohana taichou kneel next to the girl that was once his friend, assessing her situation and trying to revive her.

_Please let her be alive…_

Two taichous – there were only three Hollows. Aizen had killed that one easily, why didn't he finish it off earlier? Instead, he had stood behind the rest, ordering them around. At present, he saw Unohana taichou gently lower Hinamori's arm to the ground, and bowed her head – she was saying something, but he did not need to hear the words to know what she was saying.

Hinamori Momo was dead.

Aizen taichou bowed his head in mourning regretfully, and Unohana taichou and Isane left him alone, and that was when Kira saw it.

His head was bowed over, his hair hiding most of his face, standing alone next to the limp body of Hinamori, silent, and to anyone looking on, he would be mourning in grief. But Kira saw something else. He was _smiling._ Smiling like he knew it would happen all along, triumph over the success, the smile of a predator when its prey falls into its trap. All of a sudden, Aizen raised his head and looked straight into Kira's eyes, that smile not having once left his face, and Kira froze.

His surroundings were somehow too close, the air pressing down on him, and his chest seized up, making breathing impossible. He wanted to scream, to hide, to just do something, but he couldn't, held into place by those brown eyes, like a deer frozen in the headlights of an oncoming car. He understood now, that Ichimaru wasn't considered fearful – it was Aizen.

'Izuru?' Ichimaru sounded worried.

There was no remorse, no sadness, nothing. He was looking at Kira with a certainty and a kind of arrogance, telling him that he had killed her yes, he killed his fukutaichou. _Go on, tell the world,_ he seemed to be saying. _Tell them, and you'll end up like her._

'Izuru? Wha's wrong?' Ichimaru peered into Kira's face anxiously, though he didn't show it,

'_Aizen…taichou…!!'_ Kira choked out finally, his voice full of grief, venom and hate. He wanted to go up to Aizen, to wipe that smile off his face, to hurt him, to direct all his anger at him, make him apologise, make him bleed – his head spun with his intense emotions, and the ground seemed to be spinning. Then he remembered blacking out, with Aizen's gloating smile as the last thing he saw…

Kira raised his face to the skies obscure with dark clouds, feeling the first few drops of rain land on his skin. Hinamori was gone now, his friend since his admittance into the shinigami academy. Murdered by no one else but her own captain. Trying to rule out his grief and to sort his own feelings out, he felt hot tears sliding down his cheeks as the rain soon started.

Ichimaru was worried, this time, and greatly troubled. He had went to the borders of the entire fifth division residence when some shinigami told him that Kira had asked him to assist in a fight. He learnt of the news about the Hollows invading Sereitei, and he already knew beforehand that it would most definitely be Aizen's doing, to cause a disruption or two, before the major one came. Months before Aisen had told him about some gem or other in Sereitei that was able to merge the powers of shinigami and a Hollow together, and enables one to attain the strongest power ever achieved by anyone in Soul Society – Aizen said that he had been conducting some experiments, but he needed the thing, and that was why he would be invading Sereitei. He was sick of putting up his acts around here anyway. Weaken their forces, then attack. Ichimaru remembered shrugging, and letting his ex-taichou do whatever pleases him, but after witnessing today's events, old memories were dragged out from the reserves of his mind, and he recalled something pretty disturbing to him. It could be nothing, he knew, but it could be real as well. Only time would tell.

He arrived at the scene, still idly dreaming. Of course, Aizen would have the whole situation under control. As planned to prevent complication, only the Third, Fifth and Fourth divisions would be present. He spotted Kira almost immediately, his zanpaktou drawn in shikai form, ready to battle the Hollow before him face on. How fine he looked when he was serious, Ichimaru mused. Eyes fiercely concentrated on his target, his lips were pressed into a thin line, poised and ready for either attack or defense. The warrior's stance – he wouldn't be able to hear or see anything else not related to his fight. Ichimaru could sense his fukutaichou's reiatsu, strong and solid, pulsing in waves, and grinned. Kira was indeed strong, but as he found out, not in all areas. Releasing a little of his won reiatsu to announce his presence, he strolled up, hand moving to Shinso.

Kira had turned, at the same time, his opponent raising a claw to squash him, but Ichimaru was faster. He watched his sword lengthen, brushing past Kira to impale the Hollow squarely in the head, and dragged it down, neatly butchering it into half. Kira was bleeding at the cheek where Shinso had cut him, but he didn't seem to notice it. Grinning, he had sheathed Shinso as the Hollow disintegrated, and had said what he considered as an apology, even though he didn't really mean it. He had seen that Kira had changed, ever since their chat last night. Gone was the guarded, fearful look of prey, but a welcome and open, unguarded look.

He had been about to lick the blood off Kira's face when Aizen's fukutaichou gave a scream that distracted Kira from him. The girl was killed, mercifully swift by the Hollow, and he sighed inwardly as drama ensures. It was another of Aizen's planning, he knew from the way his ex-taichou was reacting. Every move, every expression was so carefully composed, a show. He hadn't any problem with that, just that his Kira would be traumatized. That was, until Aizen had looked at them. He could recognize that look in his eyes – the one when he'd chosen his next victim. Hinamori was the first, he remembered, but it couldn't be…just couldn't be Kira. Even his fukutaichou felt it, he knew. He had choked out Aizen's name, as he had faltered, and dropped in dead faint, Ichimaru catching him just in time. Glancing up as he scooped the unconscious shinigami into his arms, he saw Aizen turn away, smirking.

Someone from the 4th division came running up to him anxiously to see what was wrong with Kira, who was pale, cold and breaking out in cold sweat. '….severe case of shock,' frowned the shinigami as he analyzed the situation. 'A few cuts here and there – nothing serious, but a very sever mental instability. Rest will do him some good…Sayura!!'

A female shinigami detached herself from the group of shinigamis tending to the wounded and came over. 'Attend to Kira fukutaichou – case of shock. You're more an expert in this field than I am,' said the shinigami. 'After that, you will report to Isane fukutaichou.' Nodding, Sayura bowed to Ichimaru. 'Come with me, taichou. We must find somewhere we can settle Kira fukutaichou…in the fourth division?' she asked furtively as she led the way. Ichimaru shrugged and followed her, his mind whirling with plans, questions and doubts.

Later, Ichimaru sat next to the bed Kira was in, silent and brooding, but still smiling nevertheless, hands tucked into his sleeves snugly. The shinigami called Sayura had fed Kira some medicine, and he had calmed visibly after that, now lying sleeping on the bed, the late afternoon light falling across his face, chest rising and falling slightly with every breath he took. According to Sayura he would probably wake up soon enough. Transferring himself onto Kira's bed, Ichimaru leant against the bedpost, deep in thought.

'…_why did you kill off Kitaru? He was a fukutaichou good enough.' Aizen had sat across him a few months ago, idly polishing his spectacles._

'_He babbled. Ya know I hate them people who poke their noses into my business – he was weak anyway.' Ichimaru had lounged on the table, swirling his teacup. 'Now I have to find someone else.'_

'_How about Kira Izuru? He definitely does not babble, and shows a rather great potential. Personally, I find that his loyalty knows no boundaries.' Aizen set his spectacles back on his nose. 'He'll suit you like he would me – but I've already got Hinamori fukutaichou.'_

Ichimaru frowned, a rare thing to do, as he finally realized, perhaps, what Aizen had meant – he wanted Kira. He couldn't be sure, but as things went, nevertheless possible. Sighing, he massaged his temples wearily. For all these years, he had never went against Aizen, never tried nor dared to. But this time, could he really just sit back and watch? He knew what his ex-taichou was capable of, and he didn't really want to know the exact details. A hell butterfly fluttered in, conveying its message to the man, who then sighed again, then stretched and stood up. If possible, Ichimaru didn't want to waste time reporting to Yamamoto Soutaichou, preferring to stay with Kira till he woke up, but orders were orders, after all… smoothing out the creases in his robes, he gave one last look to his sleeping fukutaichou and shunpo-ed away, crossing his fingers that Kira wouldn't wake up before he returned.

On contrary, well, apparently, he did.

By the time he returned from the long, boring and tedious report to the soutaichou, the bed was empty, and the window left opened. Obviously Unohana taichou and her division would know better than to leave the window open and let a draft in, especially not when it is about to rain. Raising his eyes to the skies, indeed, heavy, steel grey rain clouds were gathering overhead, signaling a heavy downpour. A silver of panic flitter through his chest then, afraid of what Kira might do if left on his own. Hinamori was a dear friend to him, that much Ichimaru knew. At least, he thought as he leapt out of the window without a second thought, he must find Kira before the rain starts – or more specifically, before someone else does. Overhead, lightning forked out of the sky, and distant thunder rumbled, as the first few droplets of water fell from the sky.

A.N: Another fast forward, gomen nasai! I'm really horrible, aren't i? Left the cliffy for the next chapter, so you can be kept on your toes! I apologize for the horrible fighting scene – I have no experience, therefore I'm taking up Japanese swordsmanship soon to get some. As Valentine's Day is coming soon I am also now open for fanfic pairing requests! Meanwhile, please continue to show your support by reviewing!! I'll try to update soon!! P I do fanfic requests for Bleach, Dgray man, Hellsing, yeah…that's about it I think.


	6. Tears in the rain

Chapter 5

Title: Tears in the rain

Author: Aeriel Cross

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach.

A.N: Heh, Chapter 5! I wonder how many chapters long this thing will be. Must keep bugging me so I won't drop this story anyway – I tend to when it gets too long, somehow. It's Chinese new year, valentine's day is just around the corner, so, write to me for fanfic pairings requests at your own command. As for now, lets watch the drama scene ( was the previous one too dramatic? ). As you've noticed, this is an early update since I'll be having holidays for the rest of the week off. Hehe.

It was cold, the rain – solid sheets of water pouring from the sky. It hit him hard, and soaked him through to the bone, but yet he felt nothing. The surrounding were now merely a landscape of grey, white and green, the roaring of the rain were all he heard. _What am I doing here? _ He wondered numbly, not really registering the question in his mind. _I shouldn't be here – but then, where else should I go?_ By now, grief and sadness was long gone, and all Kira could feel was emptiness in him, so wide, so vast. He could feel it, silent, gaping, as if waiting…waiting for what? He didn't know. It was as if the rain had washed his emotions away, washed his memories away. It was so vague now, that battle. He couldn't really remember if Aizen taichou really did smile. He was Hinamori's captain after all, maybe she was just careless…or maybe Aizen really did kill her on purpose. Which was which? It was getting increasingly confusing. He didn't even realize when a pair of warm arms wrapped around him from behind, pulling him into a warm embrace. It didn't register to him who it was, until he smelt the light, slightly sweet smell that he always knew, the smell he would sometimes find lingering faintly in the corridors…

'Ichimaru…taichou…?'

'Its okay now,' Ichimaru replied softly, hugging Kira to him gently, yet firmly. 'It's oaky.'

It had frightened Ichimaru, as much as he didn't want to admit it, when he first found Kira. He had been hard to find, no one having noticed him when he slipped out, hiding in some remote places of Sereitei, standing alone in the rain on the hillside, tense and unmoving. Ichimaru didn't know what Kira was intending to do, now what he had been thinking of, but he had tried offering him what comfort he could give. He didn't know what had drove him to hug the man, but it had felt like the best thing to do then. It worried him when he saw the blank, lifeless look in Kira's eyes, but soon after he had held Kira to him, he had felt Kira draw in a deep breath, and was relieved to see that he had came back, not lifeless and cold as he had been afraid to find him. He held the other man close to him in relieve, while trying to recompose himself. What on earth had possessed him, to run all over Sereitei scouting for his lost lieutenant in the least composed way ( it was to him ). The smile slipping on to his face again, he buried his nose into the wet, golden hair.

'Ya shiverin, Izuru,' he stated.

'I'm not cold, taichou. You shouldn't be standing here in the rain – you might catch a cold,' sighed Kira softly. 'You can always return first – I'm okay, really.'

It was then Ichimaru's turn to sigh at Kira's stubbornness, and he removed his white haori to drape it around his lieutenant's shoulders, where it clung to the man's body wetly. 'Ya really are stubborn, Izuru,' he murmured into his lieutenant's hair as he scooped him up into his arms bridal style and Kira clung to the front of his hakama. 'It's no like I can't tell that ya cold.'

'I know…I'm sorry, taichou…' Kira answered into Ichimaru's front, the words slightly muffled by the cloth.

Looking down at the shivering blonde in his arms, looking so void of emotion, Ichimaru was reminded of Rangiku, who hid her grief behind her bubbly smile as if nothing was wrong. Kira was just like her, hiding his grief behind a void face of emotion, denying it. 'Ya'll be fine…Izuru…let's go back and get ya some dry clothes befer' ya catch a cold,' he stated to no one in particular, before shunpo-ing off back towards the direction of Sereitei, where he came from.

Kira was quiet all the way, not showing any sign of embarrassment or discomfort at being seen carried down the corridors by his taichou when he usually would blush at being caught kissing. Upon reaching Ichimaru's own quarters, Ichimaru slid the door open with his foot since his arms were fully occupied and shut it the same way, entering his own bedroom and gently set Kira down on his futon, before tugging Kira's hand free from his robes, and rummaged around in the drawers for a towel and perhaps some tea leaves as well.

He had returned, minutes later, with a steaming cup of tea and a towel to find Kira standing at the window, looking out upon the other quarters of the rest of the captains, and he knew why – one could see the fifth division's captain quarters from here. The thought of Aizen chilled his spine, and he shook his head clear of the thought, instead attempting to dry Kira's hair one-handedly with the towel and a playfulness equaling that of a young kitten when left alone with a ball of wool, and succeeded in messing up Kira's hair. It was really a funny sight, Kira's looking so sad with his hair all messed up like a bird's nest, but the situation really wasn't one to laugh at, and mutely pushing the cup into the fukutaichou's hands, he set about fixing Kira's hair, tugging and pulling at the golden locks, marveling at the way it shone gold in the dim light, when Kira had turned and buried his face into Ichimaru's shoulder. Surprised, Ichimaru trued ruffling his hair.

'She's gone, taichou.' It was more a question than a statement, but at least he was speaking.

'…yeah.'

'She was my friend.'

'I know.'

There was a brief silence.

'Sorry to cause you so much trouble…and getting you wet, taichou.' The soft voice wavered, then steadied, and Ichimaru sighed, recognizing a façade for one. At least it was better than a shattered will. He chuckled. 'I was wet way befer' that, Izuru –' the next thing he knew, the rest of his words were sealed off from a kiss, and he stood there, shock sending his brain into reboot as he tried to figure out what was going on.

'Izuru?' When Kira finally drew away, head bowed, Ichimaru tried to figure out what Kira was thinking, what he wanted, the anxious look slipping back into his eyes, but he gently pushed Kira away when he leant in for another kiss again. 'Izuru, don't.'

The blonde looked up at his captain from behind the curtain of his gold hair, not comprehending, confused. 'Why?'

'You don't know what you're doing.'

'I do taichou. I _do_ know what I'm doing.'

'No, you don't – Izuru, you are too –' once again, his words were cut off with another kiss, this time more demanding and heated than the first, Kira's hands scrabbling to get a hold on Ichimaru's clothes, and he tried to pry thema way without much success. '_Izuru!!'_

'Why? You don't want me, taichou?' The two men broke apart, flushed and breathless. His head was bowed, rejected, hurt.

'No, I do want you but now…now it's na' the time. Ya're all…to messed up-'

'Hush taichou,' Kira put a finger to Ichimaru's lips. 'Don't way anything.' Wrapping his arms around Ichimaru's waist, he leant into the taller man, silent, as the other man did the same thing, while tipping Kira's chin up with the other.

'Ya really goin' ta regret this later on, Izuru…' he growled, voice thick, as he captured the blonde's mouth with his own, unable to suppress the longing desire to make Kira his own anymore, beginning his own heated assault again the vice captain.

'I won't…' Kira tipped his head back in reckless abandon as Ichimaru dipped his head down to nip at the tender flesh, hissing at the pain when his taichou bit down hard, and closed his eyes and let Ichimaru carry him to the futon.

Kira didn't know what he was feeling then, as Ichimaru lay him down on his back on the futon, his hands roaming all over his body, pinching a little here and there, as his mouth veered dominance over Kira's. Yelping, he lifted a hand to the side of his neck where Ichimaru had bit down too hard to find it bleeding, and his taichou pushed his hand away to lick at the bleeding wound hungrily, while untying Kira's hakama at the same time, Kira's own hands also scrabbling at the captain's robes, fumbling at the knows, but managed to untie it nevertheless.

He felt his own clothes being slipped off his shoulders softly where they were thrown to a side carelessly, and he moaned as he felt Ichimaru's hot tongue roaming down his body, leaving a wet trail behind, and unconsciously jerked as his taichou went further past his belly button and lower. He could feel his captain smirking, again his naked skin, as he moved back to Kira's lips, forcing his tongue in between, tasting, nibbling at his lips till they were swollen and bleeding.

Everywhere his taichou touched, it seemed to leave his skin on fire, and he entangled his hands in the silver hair, so soft and supple, tightening his grip as a throaty growl started from his throat as he felt Ichimaru's mouth around him, teasing him and driving him crazy with need and want, as he arched his back in response, begging for more, but Ichimaru had pulled away, shaking his head, as Kira gave a small sound of disappointment.

'Not yet, my Kira, not yet…' even his voice was husky and thick with lust, as he bent down to tease one of Kira's pink nipples again, pulling it between his teeth and flicking his tongue against it, at the same time, one of his hands sliding down Kira's back, over his behind and plunged a finger deep into Kira, feeling the entrance tighten around the finger and covered Kira's mouth with his own, swallowing Kira's cry as he jerked in pain.

'T-taichou…please…' Kira begged, pulling at Ichimaru's hair so hard it was surprising he didn't yank any off. 'Please…'

Obliging, Ichimaru pulled his finger out of Kira, even though he knew it was still a little early – Kira was way too tight and he would probably tear, but it was too late to think about that now as he parted Kira's legs and pulled one up to wrap around his waist, allowing himself more entrance. Kira squirmed, as Ichimaru found the right spot, and knowingly, Ichimaru paused.

'Nervous, fukutaichou?' It was his lieutenant's first time after all, and he gently brushed a few strands of Kira's hair away from his face, kissing the heated forehead lightly as Kira nodded. 'Don't worry; I'll try my best not to hurt you.'

'Without waiting for Kira's reply, he plunged into Kira, feeling the tight ring of muscles tear, warm liquid trickling down both of their legs, as Kira let loose a cry, face contorted in pain, eyes squeezed shut. Careful to stay still, Ichimaru waited for Kira to adjust, gently massaging the small of Kira's back in hope of easing the pain. He felt him draw in a shuddering breath, and the hold on his shoulders relaxed a little, as Kira finally opened his eyes, glittering with tears, to stare into the crimson orbs of Ichimaru's.

'Does it hurt?' Ichimaru asked seftly, concerned.

'No, taichou…just…continue…' Kira gasped, as Ichimaru shifted himself to a more comfortable position, and licked saltwater tears off his cheeks.

With that single consent, Ichimaru slowly eased himself in, careful not to cause Kira any more pain than was necessary, but as desire overcame him once more, he slammed into Kira's body repeatedly, while Kira had cried out loud in pain, tears leaking out of the corners of hise yes, pain mixed with pleasure as Ichimaru drove both of them to dizzying heights, and Ichimaru had bit down hard into Kira's shoulder as he came into Kira, coating the insdies with a slick, warm liquid, shuddering when it was finally over, gasping.

'You're mine, Izuru…' Ichimaru murmured, brushing tears from Kira's cheeks away with his thumb, and realized that Kira was clinging on to him as if for dear life, shaking like a leaf in a turbulent wind. 'Izuru?'

'Don't leave me, taichou…'Kira sobbed, tears now running freely down his cheeks, his emotions finally catching up with him and breaking through. 'Don't leave me behind…please….'

Pulling himself out of Kira, Ichimaru wrapped his arms around the crying blonde, and pulled him close, stroking his hair reassuringly to calm him down. 'What makes you think I'd leave you behind? I never will, Izuru…' He felt Kira's hands searching for something aimlessly, and caught hold of one, holding it close like a mother would a child. 'I promise- I'll be there for you, always…' He fell silent then, letting Kira cry into his chest, the sobs loud in the soft silence of the night.

A.N: -coughs, blushes- So, that was it. The lemon. –face turns deep red- It was my first so that's why it's so disjointed, sorry. It's really really horrible so I apologize. I never tried writing this kind of stuff, and sorry for the spelling mistakes, because, I'm in a hurry to put this up before CNY. Do review to tell me what you think of it, kill me if you want. –Shuts eyes waiting for doom- All fanfic requests are still open, and happy CNY! –Dies from embarrassment-


	7. Dawn of a new Morning

Title: Dawn of a new Morning  
Author: Alexis Sacrifar  
Genre: Angst / romance  
Pairings: GinKira

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach.

A.N: Rright...chapter 6 is up!! The long awaited chapter 6!! Really, i just finished writing it today!! Today, the 29th Februray!! It must be the longest chapter i've ever written...Sorry for the long wait...i got discouraged...by a ...-too embarrassed to go on-

When Kira woke, the first lights were just streaming in through the window, and he watched the few solitary wispy clouds drift across the pale blue grey sky leisurely, feeling a soft breeze come in to play at his hair so that it tickled his nose, making him wanting to sneeze and he brushed it away.

'Awake, Izuru?' A cold hand reached out to touch his bare neck and he shivered.

'Hai, taichou...' he attempted to roll over, but stopped, hissing in pain. Truth be said, he felt sore all over, and the ower part of his body felt as if it was on fire, every muscle screaming in protest even if he moved just a little bit, and holding his breath, he tried to relax in that position - it hurt to move any further. He didn't even think he would be capable of walking at this state, not when he already couldn't move to just roll over.

'Hurts, doesn't it?' He felt Ichimaru shift beside him, then a cool hand on the small of his back, and he felt the pain ebb away, little by little, till it was at least tolerable. 'I'm nah a very good healer, but at least it's nah goin' ta hurt tha much - or ya could jus' look fer Retsu-chan. I'm sure she'll do somethin'.'

Immediately Kira's face flushed a bright red to think of what the stern yet motherly captain of the Fourth squad would say when she found out about his 'injuries'. He could already guess the reactions of his friends, too, as well...the word brought Hinamori to his mind, and he sighed softly. Feeling Ichimaru move his hand away, implying that he was done, Kira tried to roll over again, groaning. It would still hurt, but bearable. He would just have to restrain from big, sudden movements then. 'Arigato, taichou.'

His captain, however, didn't answer, happy to keep silent, propped up on one elbow, head resting on a palm comfortably and just contenting himself by observing Kira. He really looked like a big sized lazy cat, then, to Kira. Ichimaru liked the way the sunlight glinted in his lieutenant's golden hair, the way Kira was comfortable snuggled into the warmth of the blankets, looking so relaxed, the only telltale sign of the pain he was feeling the slight crease of his brows. Tempted, Ichimaru reached out a hand and gently skimmed it over Kira's white, exposed arms, feeling hard muscles beneath the seemingly thin, pale skin. Unlike himself, Kira actually really had muscles, as Ichimaru found out for himself alst night, though they weren't really visible on his thin frame. Ichimaru, on the other hand, had hardly any muscles at all, so from where he got his strength from, it was a puzzle. And he was very strong, even though he doesn't look it...which turned out to have certain advantages in battle, after all.

At present, a hell butterfly fluttered in through the open window daintily on its outstretched wings, and made a bee-line for Ichimaru's head where it hovered for a few seconds before fluttering away again, having conveyed its message. Ichimaru's expression took on a curious one as he studied Kira more intently then, before speaking. 'We've been invited ta Hinamori fukutaichou's funeral, apparently,' he mused. 'D'ya wanna go?'

Kira was silent for a while. 'Won't it be inappropriate?' Normally, when a division's memeber, fukutaichou or taichou died, only the respective division would take part in the funeral. The only exception was when it was the taichou's death, where other captains and their vice captains could also choose to take part in the mourning, otherwise, other divisions would usually stay out of each other's business.

'Nah...not really if Aizen taichou personally invited us...but if ya don't feel well enough ta go, ya can always skip out,' Ichimaru suggested playfully, and Kira couldn't help but wonder if that was the kind of behavior and attitude his captain held towards everything that came by him. 'If ya don't think ya can handle it, ya can always stay home, ne?'

'I can manage, taichou.' It would just be impolite to skip out on his friend's funeral, much less a captain's invitation, despite of what Ichimaru said.

'Yare, yare...its all up ta ya, i guess,' Ichimaru drawled, sitting up .'It's goin' ta be held this late afternoon, if ya can make it.' Without further ado, Ichimaru had promptly began dressing, even though it was at snail's pace, unwilling t hurry.

Kira too, had followed suit, seeing that time wasn't early now, and pulled on his hakama as fast as his acheing body would allow him to, but by the time he finished, Ichimaru wasn't even done yet, only then drawing one arm through the sleeve of his haori, and the front of his robes weren't even close yet, hanging open to reveal a white chest. And despite Kira's slight embarrasement, God forbid, his taichou looked as if he was half asleep in dreamland now.

'Ichimaru taichou, you're going to be late for the meeting,' Kira said uneasily with a glance outside the window. The sky was already turning a light blue. 'Yamamoto sou-taichou won't be pleased.'

'Nyaa...' Ichimaru had by then resumed his lazy, slow attitude he usually held, as he scratched his head and gave a weak attempt at flattening his silver hair. 'He wouldn't mind, anyway - i'm sure.' A glance at his lieutenant told him Kira was more than ready to go, Wabisuke already strapped to place, his division's fukutaichou badge tied to his left arm, standing there alert and at attention, eyes serious. Ichimaru couldn't have been more happy to see Kira resume his old self again.

'Ya could always proceed ta da meetin' first, ya know,' Ichimaru grinned, stepping up close to Kira and taking hold of his chin, brushing a thumb lightly over Kira's soft, slightly parted lips. Not to mention that they were a little swollen too, from 'misuse'. 'It's be borin' anyway.'

'But you're holding on to my sleeve, taichou,' Kira suggested, breathing lightly onto Ichimaru's hand.

'Oh, honto ni, i wasn't aware of that,' Ichimaru replied cheekily, letting go of his fukutaichou's sleeve and watched his straighten his uniform, smirking when Kira's eyes raked his body and blushed when he realised that Ichimaru was still watching him.

'I'll leave first then, Ichimaru taichou,' Kira coughed. 'Do try to be punctual.'

'Mmhm' Ichimaru hummed, watching happily as Kira limped a little akwardly out of the room, taking a sort of sadistic pleasure in Kira's pain, but when the door slid closed, the idiotic smile slipped off his face, isntead replaced by a dark, plotting one, as he turned to contemplate his ownr eflection in the mirror that stood in the corner of his room.

'Yare, yare...what're ya up ta now, Aizen taichou...hm...?'

Kira arrived on time to his meeting, taking his place next to Renji, who just so happened to be leaning on the wall next to the door, arms folded across his chest, looking sulky and moody, for once silent for morning assembly. Unlike the taichou meetings held daily every morning, all the fukutaichous would gather for a small assembly just for attendance taking, and in Kira's point of view, it was actually pointless. For one, hardly any important stuff was discussed. No one trusted each other enough to openly express their views about doubtful events. What they did, however, was to gossip about current events or miscellenous mishaps. On the other hand, the captains meeting helf by Yamamoto sou-taichou were usually about important events, and thus were usually held for longer than the vice captains' assembly. But since there was absolutely nothing to do, before their dismissal ( paperwork and systems were always set rolling by the captains ), Kira didn't really mind them.

Today, unlike any other days, the room was eerily silent, adn no one spoke, all preferring to stay in their own corner and attending to their own respective thoughts, but of course, tehy were all based on the one missing person in the room then. Kira shifted uncomfortably, disliking the atmosphere every minute. The silence was heavy and stifling, pressing on everyone that was present, so thick, that Kira found that he could hardl;y breathe. _Is the situation like this with taichou, too? _He wondered. He did realise too, with some discomfort that some were constantly glancing at him, and he could guess why. He was the only person who had been present when hinamori died, an of course they would be curious as to what had happened. Like Renji.

'Oi, Kira,' Renji had suddenly spoke, causing said blonde to jump. 'Will you be attending Hinamori's funeral today?'

'...How did you know?' All eyes were on them now.

'Che...I received Aizen taichou's message this morning and figured that you'd receive one too.'

'I see. I suppose i am...and you?'

'Nah...i'm busy...' Renji scratched his head to cover up his uneasiness. 'I don't think that i can stand it, anyway...' he added softly. 'Must be difficult.'

Kira had heard the question in the seemingly neutral sentence, but he said nothing about it, choosing to keep his silence and feign ignorance. He didn't want to bring up the subject all over again, and for now, he didn't want to think about Aizen taichou, not until when he really has to. Somehow, he felt afraid of the man, who was always seemingly kind and caring, soft brown eyes behind those spectacles, and he hardly ceased smiling. Was he smiling to cover up something more sinister than what was shown outwardly? Kira wasn't sure that he really wanted to know. Some distance away, a bell tolled, loud and heavy, drawing a sigh from all the vice captains present. The captain's meeting was over.

Kira turned to go, eager to be away from the terribly akward situation, but he had barely taken a few steps when Isane fukutaichou's soft voice called out to him.

'Um, Kira fukutaichou, why are you limping like that?'

He never got to see Ichimaru taichou again until lunch time, and when the captain had asked about his assembly, Ichimaru had smirked at the incident before leaning across the table to pat Kira's cheek, while fingering his jawline, before saying seductively in a low voice. 'Feelin' shy, are ya, Izuru-chan?' It sounded as if he was almost laughing. 'Wanna try again tonight?'

Kira flushed a bright red. 'T-taichou!!' he exclaimed indignantly.

'Ya know ya can't resist me,' Ichimaru murmured, trailing his fingers down Kira's white slender neck, tickling him again, before leaning back and sitting down again, satisfied.

It was kind of true in a sense.

It was late that afternoon, as Kira stood amidst the Fifth division, lined up along the way from the division's headquarters to the gate, at the head of the passageway that they have cleared out, a coffin. Kira was up at the front by Ichimaru's side, watching with a sort of detached coolness. Some were crying, some were solemn. He wondered how it would be like if this was _his_ own funeral, the thought surprising him.

_Why am i thinking this anyway..._he reprimanded himself mentally, just as he felt one of Ichimaru's arms wrap around his waist.

'Ya doin' fine?' Kira had the impression that he was trying his best not to yawn, and felt a spark of anger which faded as quickly as it had came. Indeed, it was Hinamori's funeral, but Kira was clear too, that Ichimaru was only there just because Kira had chose to go. Given another choice, he would be back in the office throwing paper planes.

'I'm fine, taichou.' How many times had he said that already? He didn't know. Glancing across the many rows of shinigamis, he couldn't detect Renji's or Byakuya taichou's reiatsu, which was to be expected. In Sereitei, even though they were called the Gotei 13, in fact, each division stood on its own as an individual, and no one ever meddled into someone else's affairs - not even the death of a friend. This was ultimately how Sereitei was run. Each division went on their own different respective ways regardless of the others, and to them, someone from another division could as well as be a total alien. No one really cared for each other, after all. They arrived in soul society alone, and they will leave alone. This was how it was.

A wind vlew down across the amassing ranks, and Kira looked to the front to see Aizen taichou arriving, moving tos tand next to Hinamori's coffin. True, he wore a grieved expression on his face, but was it really what he was feeling? He saw those brown eyes sweep across the people, and saw they staring into his own. Unconsiously he tightened his grip on Wabisuke, drawing in a sharp intake of breath, once again his chest restricting around his ribcages, causing Ichimaru to look at him.

'Wha' wrong?'

'N-nothing...' Aizen looked away, and Kira relaxed again, studying Aize intensely. Sure, the captain held no dark intentions within his soft, sad smile and those brown eyes that expressed nothing but grief, but Kira's instincts told him that that was probably not the case with Aizen. He couldn't have any ill intentions after all, could he?

_For now. _A soft voice whispered int he back of his mind, causing him to shiver.

Aizen was saying something, something that Kira wasn't paying attention to. He saw his lips moving, and caught a few words, but he was too busy thinking about something else. How much was this man hiding, this tall, respectable, forbidding captain. Now that he thought of it, not much was known about Aizen. No one knew about his background, and no one really knew what he did, especially not when he always went missing, doing whatever it was he was doing. What was he thinking? No one knew - not even Hinamori.

Was he mistaken, the day Hinamori died? But aizen didn't kill her personally, did he? The hollow did. That could mean nothing, but then how would the smile on his face be explained? That triumph, gleeful look in his eyes - the mere thought of it made Kira sick to his stomach. If he was really sad, would he smile like that? But if Aizen had really arranged for Hinamori to be killed, how would he knew that she _will_ be killed? Or had she been manipulated? He was a catain of the Gotei 13, and there were so many eyes on him - it would be impossible for him to have connections with their enemy, could he?

_You never know.___

Presently, he realised that Aizen's speech was over, and that Aizen was coming right over to him, the various ranks of the members of the fifth division scattering, those not wishing to witness the cremation of Hinamori's body leaving. He froze, at the sight of Aizen, his robes billowing out around him, casting a dark shadow upon the ground, the light from the setting sun glinting off the rim of his spectacles. Now, the soft look in his eyes, was gone, replaced by a cunning but deceptively kind look. Ichimaru taichou was nowhere to be seen.

_Run, run, run. _His mind chanted, but he couldn't move. Where could he run to, anyway? He didn't want to shame Ichimaru taichou's name.

'Kira fukutaichou,' Aizen stopped directly before him, smiling kindly. 'I see that you ahve decided to attend after all.'

'Yes, sir.' Kira forced himself to meet the captain's gaze, painfully aware of how tall Aizen was, towering over him.

'I have thought that perhaps it might be a little too painful for you, but you did meet my expectations after all, unlike Abarai fukutaichou.' His smile grew wider, and Kira moved back a step, suddenly terrified. 'I'm glad that you came.'

When Kira didn't answer, he continued. 'hinamori fukutaichou has bee your friend ever since she enrolled into the Academy, hasn't she? It has been indeed unfortunate, the timing of her death...i apologise for my complacency then...' He didn't look sorry at all. 'It must have been painful, wasn't it? But Kira, i want you to know that _accidents _do happen sometimes in the battlefield.'

'...' Kira had nothing to say. The words seemed kind enough, but was it really what Aizen was feeling? He did seem to place quite some emphasis on the wrod 'accidents', after all. He wished Ichimaru taichou would return soon to rescue him.

'Hinamori fukutaichou's bravery is indeed praiseworthy. I wonder if you would feel the same way towards Ichimarut aichou, too, do you?' Kira started at the sudden change of topic, and detected a predatory glint in Aizen's eyes.

'I...I follow my captain's orders,' he answered evasively, now on the defensive side, alert now.

'I see, I see. But that was not my question.' Aizen's voice turned dangerously soft and he came a step closer, slowly reaching out a hand to Kira's face, fingers brushing the hair concealing his right eye, and eyes widening, Kira tried to step back, but somehow his body had refused to obey him. 'My question is, are you willing to risk your life for Ichimaru taichou?'

'I...I don't know what you mean,' Kira said stiffly, body standing rigid, eyes as wide and helpless as a doe.

'Its an easy question, Kira fukutaichou.' Aizen leant closer, menace lying in the undercurrents of his words. 'Will you, or will you not?'

'I...' Kira's eyes darted around, frightened now, searching. Where was Ichimaru taichou? His heart was pounding hard, and his instincts were screaming for him to run, to flee...

'Will you answer, Kira fukutaichou? I wouldn't wan to-' Aizen's sentence was cut off as a hand batted Aizen's hand away from Kira, and Kira felt a soft warm something covering his eyes, pulling him backwards into a soft body.

'Now, now, wha're ya doin', Aizen taichou?' The soft lilting voice of Ichimaru sounded beside him. ''Its' rather rude ta impose on other people's fukutaichou, ya know.'

'I was merely holding a friendly conversation with Kira fukutaichou.' Aizen sounded rather amiable. 'There's no need to be defensive.'

'It sure didn' look friendly ta me,' Ichimaru replied coldly.

'I was merely curious. After all, anyone would.'

'Didn' seem ta be the case. Let's go, Izuru chan. It's alright now.' Ichimarus teered Kira away and removed his hand away from his eyes so that he could see again, wrapping a reassuring arm around his shoulders. 'Ya shakin, Izuru.'

'...sorry.' Kira let himself be led away by his captain, as longa s he could get away from the fifth division.

'Nah, wha're ya apologizin fer? Its nothin'.' Ichimaru ruffled his hair good naturedly. 'Next time, be more careful round Aizen taichou.'

Hai.'

Kira turned back for one last look, and saw Aizen still staring after them, smiling about something with a sinister look about, before he turned away. And behind them all, the fire was finally lit, colouring the sky a dark glowing orange. It was, Kira decided, as if the sky itself was burning.

a.N: I am ASHAMED. Greatly ashamed. I've let you down for my long updates...-kowtows to the ground- I'm sorry. I need inspiration for my next chapter...must...think of something. Hope you like this - its a really long one. Torture of my shoulders and fingers. Had to make up a funeral scene omg. A JI terrorist leader had just escaped from the detention center near my school, oh hail terroriest!! OMG so scary. Srsly, its a terrorist!! NOOO!!! Help.


	8. Deception

Title: Deception

Title: Deception  
Author: Alexis Sacrifar  
Genre: Angst / Romance  
Pairing: GinKira / AizenKira

Disclaimer: - ( I own Bleach. )  
A.N: LOL my friend thought up of this disclaimer for me. The NEGATIVE SIGN! Sorry for the long wait that i haven't be updating recently i'm so loaded down with tests and all its almost impossible to write. But after the long wait finally, its chapter 7 of sweet poison!! And this time, i'll be too lazy to x-cross. Some kind soul do it for me?? Gomenasai! I'll NEVER give up on fanfic writing ya know...

After the funeral, the situation in Sereitei had turned into something more than hectic. Kira heard that the forces were changing, and hollows were massing up near the borders. No one knew what they wanted, but Yamamoto sou-taichou was expecting an attack to the North in the desert - security was the weakest there. Ukitake did say, too, that the numbers of Hollows in the human world was increasing. It was really getting out of control.

For the next few weeks, teams were constantly being sent out on missions and either they didn't return, or returned on stretchers with great numbers missing. Kira took all this in quietly, observing the increasing number of casualties and deaths everyday. He knew that the enrage had already started, and the second division was sent out along with Soi Fong taichou to control the first few conflicts at the borders. He remembered Hitsugaya taichou saying that it was just the beginning, and worse was to come in the future. Kira didn't want to imagine how it would be like, and isntead tried his best to focus on his own work, trying to unsettle the uneasy feeling in his stomach while waiting for the time when he would, one day, be sent out to the battlefield too.

'Don't worry too much, Izuru,' Ichimaru had stated one day.

'I'm not.' He didn't want to be weak, he had told himself as he signed the papers. Not in such a time of weakness. The number of casualties had increased again.

'Good tahear that,' Gin grinned, before sauntering away.

Kira saw his captain less and less, as the battle increased in its ferocity. Even the sixth division had been sent out now. Captain meetings were called for almost every hour, and everyone sunk into a state of panic. The only ones seemingly unjarred was Ichimaru and Aizen, as well as Hisagi, who believed that Sereitei will win ultimately. Ichimaru taichou was soon caught up into the current affairs, and his desk would usually stand empty in the office. Kira, however, had absolutely no time to contemplate on the matter as soon, he too, was landed down with work.

Once, he had been hurrying down the corridors like he always did, with an enormous stack of documents in his arms when he had chanced upon Aizen taichou. He dearly wanted to shumpo away, but it would be too obvious by then.

'Aizen taichou.' He supplied a quick greeting as he hurried past the man, anxious to get away before something happened.

'Kira fukutaichou.' Aizen's voice made him stop. 'Have you seen Ichimaru taichou around lately?'

'No. Is there something you wish to convey to him?'

'No. So he hasn't been around you much?'

'Ichimaru taichou is busy with his duties.' What was Aizen driving at?

'I see...i'd have thought he'd be more careful after this...' Aizen had trailed off, and left, leaving a very puzzled Kira behind.

Kira didn't get to see Ichimaru taichou much, only late at night when Ichimaru would secretly burrow into Kira's futon to sleep next to him, or when Ichimaru ran away from his duties. Kira, on the other hand, was too busy with the division's work too. And somehow, after that incident with Aizen taichou, Kira had noticed that he seemed to 'chance' upon Aizen taichou frequently down the corridors. Sometimes, Aizen just stood by the side, his arms folded, quietly observing him as he worked with his duties, but there were also times when he had tried to spark conversations with him on topics that the blonde absolutely did not sit well with. The fukutaichou noticed, too, that Aizen actually _knew_ what he was doing. He knew his schedules, and his whereabouts - Aizen had been sure to let his information slip through in his conversations.

'Have you been tracking me around, Aizen taichou?' he had asked one day.

Aizen had merely smiled in response.

Kira hated it. He didn't know what Aizen was trying to do, and he hadn't forgotten that Aizen, too, was probably the one who murdered Hinamori. How he did it, Kira couldn't fathom, but he could be sure about it. He shuddered to know that a certain pair of brown eyes were watching his every move - he could have sworn he felt a flash of the fifth division captain's reiatsu at the window one night when he and Ichimaru had been kissing, but he looked up to see nothing. What did Aizen want? After Hinamori, did he want him dead now? The question tugged at him endlessly.

As time progressed, Aizen began intruding on his personal spaces, coming uncomfortable close to the vice captain, and had even went as far as touching him. It would seem normal to others looking on, but Kira recognised it for what it was. Aizen was showing what his own captain had been showing him all along - how many times had he seen this sort of possesive behavior in Gin? Aizen was actually wanting to veer dominance over Kira. It was just way too obvious - the dangerous softness in his voice, the seemingly caring but menacing gestures, the threatening look in his eyes, it all fitted.

'Are you loyal, Kira fukutaichou?' Aizen had asked agian, with his hand in Kira's hair.

Fearful, Kira had instead responded stiffly. 'What do you want, Aizen taichou?'

It was clear that Aizen wanted something else rather than just the normal answers of 'yes' or 'no'. If it was so, then the answer would have been given a long time ago. And no one would go to such an extent of pushing a vice captain of another division against the wall with a stack of documents in his arms just for friendly conversation. Kira was sick of this - he couldn't guess hy, and to keep it hanging in the air was definitely not the answer. Whatever it was, he wanted it to be over and done with, fast. But it struck fear to think about the possibilities - did he really want to know?

That day, Kira had been trying to transport the documents to Hitsugaya taichou's office, staggering under the tremendous weight of paperwork and somewhat amazed at the feat of completing such a great amount of work in three hours by himself. As usual, he didn't get to see Ichimaru taichou around for much and most of the other divisions were basically just running around and exchanging squad teams to and fro from the battlefield. Personally he had already sent out two teams from their division, and they haven't returned yet. It was just as he was letting his ind drift when he caught a trace of that particular reiatsu again. Aizen was leaning against a pillar further down the corridor, waiting, and appearing not to have noticed him at all, but Kira knew more otherwise. Gritting his teeth, he forced himself to keep moving forwards. Just as he had expected, Aizen spoke just as he was passing by him.

There was no warning when Aizen seized his shoulders from behind, and in shock he had dropped his load in a scattering pile onto the smooth polished ground, before he was roughly shoved against the wall, face to face with the Go ban taichou, pinned down and nowhere to run.

He regretted his question almost immediately, as Aizen leant in close to him, his grip tightening on his shoulders before whispering into his ear.

'I want..._you_.'

Kira's eyes widened in shock and the horror of it all, his breath restricting in his throat as Aizen drew back, smirking, looking smugly at him. His heart raced, as he searched the captain's face for a sign of that he was merely joking, but no. There was only lust and violence present in those brown eyes.

'So are you loyal enough to your own captain, Kira fukutaichou?' Aizen purred with the low voice of a predator playing with its prey. 'Loyal enough to..._sacrifice_...yourself for him?'

'What...' Kira shuddered as Aizen cupped his cheek in a caring yet menacing manner.

'You'll find out, soon enough,' Aizen smiled secretively. 'But you have better make up your mind soon - before you lose something precious to you.' With that, he suddenly released Kira and strode away. 'Oh, and may i remind you,' he paused in his footsteps. 'Breath a word of this to anyone, and you will know.'

Kira stood there numbly, his mind in a whirl, leaning on the wall for support, shocked at what had just happened, as the footsteps of Aizen slowly faded away into the distance. Only when the last traces of his reiatsu had disappeared did he dare to breathe again, moving slowly and pushing himself up away from the wall onto unsteady legs before numbly kneeling down to retrieve all the scattered papers across the gleaming wooden floorboards, still shaken. Aizen wanted him - wanted _him_? The mere thought of it made him sick, and somehow he was suddenly reminded of Hinamori, and the dying light in her eyes, and Aizen's smile.

_No.__  
_  
Kira gulped and forced the thought away from his mind with great difficulty. That aside, what did Aizen mean when he wanted him to sacrifice himself for Ichimaru taichou? What was Aizen intending to do? Ichimaru was a cpatain - if Aizen wanted to murder Ichimaru taichou it wouldn't be that easy a feat, would it? Many people were paying a lot of attention to the captains and it was hard to act without someone knowing, much less assasinate another captain.

Having an increasingly bad feeling towards the whole matter, Kira shook himself and hurried off towards the tenth division office.

As usual, Hitsugaya taichou was behind his desk furiously scribbling away at his documents with a frenzied hand, Masumoto asleep on the couch looking worn out, snuggled beneath a rug since the office was cold, as usual. The child prodigy glanced up as Kira knocked on the door and tottered into the office, eyeing the documents with a slight distaste and set down his brush, rubbing his eyes tiredly.

'Hitsugaya taichou,' Kira murmured in way of a greeting.

'Just put them over there at that corner,' Hitsugaya waved his hand towards the huge accumulated mountains of paper.

'Hai. Erm...Hitsugaya taichou?'

'Yes?'

'How long is this...war...going to take?' Kira resisted stretching out his tired arms before the strict captain.

Hitsugaya looked up wearily, before lowering his gaze again, massaging his temples. 'I don't know...a few weeks, a few months...' he shrugged. 'We're trying our best but if the arrancars do not retreat...by the way, was your division informed to move out yet?'

'No.'

'From what i heard, Yamamoto sou-taichou is intending to move out the third division as well with Ichimaru taichou. Soon, in fact, so be prepared.'

It all clicked into place, Kira realised numbly as he raced through the various reports back in his own office. So this was how Aizen intended to get at Ichimaru taichou - to kill him on the battlefield. No one would then question Ichimaru taichou's death under such circumstances, since deaths were so common in a war. And if Aizen was in league with the hollows, arrancars, whatever, it was all the more possible. He stopped in his work, shaking. It wasn't that he didn't believe in his own captain, but he was truly afraid of what might really happen. If he could get away with murder once, what was there to stop him from getting away with another one again? He dared trust his suspicions now, now that Aizen had finally revealed himself to him. If he dared to threaten him with Ichimaru taichou's life, someone of the equal same respectable rank as himself, why wouldn't he dare to kill someone of a lower rank than him, his fukutaichou? His smiles were all lies indeed. His knuckles turned white as he gripped his brush so hard he thought it might break - Momo adored him so much, how could he?

'Izuru-chan, somethin' wrong?'

Kira jumped, startled at the sound of a voice and looked up, dazed, at his captain who was standing in front of his desk, smiling curiously, and jumped to feet imediately.

'I did...didn't see you coming in, taichou...'

'Of course ya didn't,' Ichimaru hummed. 'Ya were so busy with paperwork.'

'G0 - gomen...' Kira looked up nervously when Ichimaru picked up a sheaf of papers and scanned through them, something very out of habit for him.

'Maa...Izuru...' Ichimaru cocked his head to the side, pondering, puppy-like, before returning the papers to its neat stack on the desk, before heading round the table to put an arm around the lieutenent's shoulders and pulling him to walk with him. 'Eh...let's go for dinner. Its pretty late anyway.'

'Don't you have...?' Kira started, surprised.

'Leave work aside fer a moment - i've neva seen so many mistakes in ya work befer. Shh,' he pressed a finger to Kira's lips, silencing the blonde. 'Tis' okay. Just take a break won't hurt tha' much,' he commented lightly, and kissed him amiably on the forehead, causing Kira to blush and look away. 'I can't afford for ya ta fall sick - its pressurizing i know.'

'...Hai.'

This feeling, somehow, he always felt secure whenever Ichimaru taichou was near, a sense of comfort. As long as he was allowed to be with Ichimaru taichou, he didn't even mind if his taichou exploited him or anything. If only it could really be so...

'By the way, i'm leavin' ta battle next week.'

That week passed in a blur, with the third division in a rush to settle the preparations, and Kira directing them around. Since Sereitei needed help within its own compounds, they had to save their human resources and it had been decided that they will send a third of their division out to assist the various other divisions out there along with the captain. Why there were countless Hollows attacking souls society he seriously didn't know, and he didn't want to know, especially when Aizen Sousuke was behind it all. Knowing that he wouldn't be seeing his lieutenent for quite some time, Ichimaru would be always seen to be tailing Kira around like an oversized playful puppy, occasionally attempting to bother him but generally silent, only watching.

He didn't know how to describe that feeling, as he lay beneath his lover, moaning, and knowing that soon he would be gone. What would Ichimaru taichou say when he returned and found out? But then again, it wouldn't really matter if Ichimaru taichou would come to hate him later, but as long as he was safe, Kira was willing to sacrifice everything for him.

On the day of his captain's departure, Kira scanned the teams before him with a heavy heart, looking at the tense, anxious faces before him. There was none that he could recognise, but he had to wonder, that of all these numbers that he was sending out, how many would be coming back? He stood beside his captain, constantly glancing nervously over at him. Ichimaru was unaware of the possible danger that he was in, even, leisurely drawing circles on the floor with his foot, waiting for noon when they would set off. What would await them on the battlefield? Although Kira would not be accompanying them, he felt as anxious as any of them would, standing there in their neatly formed ranks under the burning summer's sun with sweat trickling down their necks, about to set off for war. No one could ever be comfortable about war, he knew, what more about death? He jumped as thin, slender warms wrapped themselves around his waist, light, feathery breath down his neck.

'Ichimaru taichou.' He rested his head back on his captain's chest, breahing in the faintly sweet scent that reminded him of morning mist and lilies.

'Aww, Izuru,' purred Ichimaru in a slightly whiny voice. 'Why da gloomy face an' all? I won't be gone fer tha' long.'

'I know,' Kira murmured tiredly. 'I know.'

'Then?'

'I...just be careful, Ichimaru taichou.' Kira pulled away from the soft embrace, a feeling of guilt creeping over him in show of what was to come. He didn't deserve this at all.

'Ya mean i can't take care o' myself, Izuru-chan?' Ichimaru's lips curved in a quirky smile as he tipped the blonde's head back to look into his eyes.

'No, i meant - 'Kira's argument was cut off as Ichimaru's lips captured his in a kiss of farewell, one soft, sweet kiss. When Ichimaru finally pulled away, Kira had forgotten what he had been about to say previously, and merely kept his eyes downcast, silent. Somewhere, a bell tolled loudly, sounding noon, and everyone gave a small jump. It was time to move out.

'I'll be off then,' Ichimaru waved and sauntered away. 'Move, ya lot.' On command, the mass of shinigamis snapped to life, and with a flurry of movement, started to file out down towards the desert in the distance. 'Later, Izuru.'

'...Hai.' The last thing he saw of his captain was his back, his captain's haori billowing out in the wind, all in his white robed glory, and then he was gone, leaving behind nothing but a faint stirring of the wind, and Kira turned away with a hollow feeling in his heart.

It was late at night when Aizen heard a soft knock at his door, and he set down his book, wondering who would want to come visiting at such unearthly hours.

'Come in,' he turned as the soft sound of a door sliding open sounded, just to see a particular blonde standing there in the open doorway, black robes fluttering in the breeze, fists clenched and looking deathyl pale, only looking up when he stood up from behind the desk. 'And what would bring you here in this hour, Kira fukutaichou?'

'You know what i'm here for...' Kira forced through gritted teeth, gaze averted, the words bitter in his mouth.

'Ah, so you have decided - and i was thinking that perhaps you have decided to betray Ichimaru taichou...?' Aizen murmured pleasantly, moving quietly towards his prey.

'I'm not like someone,' Kira hissed venomously.

'Ah, such a fiery spirit and tongue, Kira fukutaichou. Tsk, tsk...but i'll expect that you'll learn in due time...' he smirked sardonically as he slid the door shut behind Kira. 'You'll see.'

That night, noe one heard the vice captain scream in anguish, pain, and shattered loyalty, and all that heard him was the wind.

A.n: Thats it. Srry for the delay. Its not easy job to type with a sprained wrist too, mind you.


	9. Empty Hopes

Title: Empty Hopes

Title: Empty Hopes  
Author: Alexis Sacrifar  
Pairing: Aizen/Kira, GinKira  
Genre: Angst

Disclaimer: -( I own Bleach. )

A.N: Yeah, the negative sign still rules. Fast forwarding again.

It was all as expected, Kira supposed, but he just didn't see the whole issue earlier. Within a few weeks after he had submitted himself to Aizen taichou, the arrancars and the hollows had suddenly withdrawn, leaving all those on the battlefield bewildered. If anything, he really wanted to be sent out to war instead and be killed than be under Aizen's possesion.

If someone asked him how he had felt about it, he wouldn't know how to answer. He felt nothing, totally nothing, perhaps only a little sarcarsm - he felt like laughing at himself. There was no revulsion, he noticed some time around later, nor hate. It was as if the link to his feelings was severed, cut off. His body belonged to Aizen, then - he could do whatever he wanted to with him, and he was not allowed to utter a single word of it. Aizen watched him, he knew, and pressed him for signs of disobedience, punishing him harshly for it, even for the occasional flinching when he heard his name. He had to smile, according to Aizen, but he thought Aizen liked it better when he had 'disobeyed' him - not that he wanted to anyway.

His health detoriated drastically, much to the concern of his friends around him. He didn't have to look into a mirror to know how he looked like - he was definitely thinner, paler and more sickly looking. He supposed even Ukitake taichou would look a much better state than him - Renji had said that he looked as if he was dead. In a sense, he could say it was true. He began to shy away from sunlight, somehow, and people. Of course there were rumours, gossips about him around the place, which increased when he had shattered the mirror in his bathroom, cut himself rather horribly and was forced on sick leave by the sou-taichou with the excuse of 'too much stress' . The fact was that he couldn't bear to look into the mirro at all - to see the dulled blue eyes and the scars and bruises that marred his pale skin. Obviously Aizen loved marking his victims, and he wondered if Hinamori went through this as well?

Rumours soon began that sooner or later he would become the fukutaichou of the fifth division from the way people perceived the relationship he shared between him and Aizen. So this was how others saw it, did they? He didn't attempt to clear his name, and let them run loose. He knew it had attracted the attention of many other captains - if this was what Aizen wanted. He seemed to like seeing him defeated, didn't he? Will it only satisfy him when he is lying cold in his own blood? Aizen never loved him, he only wanted to inflict pain upon him.

And soon, Ichimaru taichou returned much to Kira's dread with the rest of the third division. What could he say - what could he do? He was not worthy of his captain anymore. He saw his taichou down the corridor by chance one day despite his efforts to avoid chancing upon him. He didn't really expect to see him then, having busied himself with work and giving excuses, as well as staying away from the division office for long hours, taking into mind too that his captain was too busy loaded down with his own duties, but apparently things have slowed down a little, and thus his captain's slackness again. His heart skipped a beat in utter shock at first, when he saw the familiar figure of the silver haired man down the corridor - he hadn't been able to sense him at all, no warning whatsoever, for he had suppressed his reiatsu.

'Izuru-chan-' Ichimaru began amiably as he neared, but Kira ducked his head and hurried off, pretending not to hear. His voice was always the same, soft, kind, with his strange accent, as was his presence, always comforting to him. How Kira yearned for him, longed for his touch, to look into those shielded eyes and know that they see no one but him, but he would never let Ichimaru taichou touch him, something so dirty, so tainted--

So worthless.

But of course, he could never avoid his captain forever, being his vice captain. Ichimaru would have noticed bu now, he supposed. Many times, Ichimaru tried to get close to him, to at least, talk to him. He would be confused, probably, as to why his lieutenent was starting to maintain only a superior and subordinate relationship between them, nothing more and nothing less. It pained Kira to see his captain thus, at a loss, and of course Aizen had to make the situation worse bu displaying 'affection' over him before Ichimaru. An arm slung carelessly over his shoulder, knowing looks and scretive smiles - he saw the hurt reflected in his own captain's eyes.

'You're utterly worthless, Izuru -- trash.' Aizen had grunted to him one night whilst pounding into him ruthlessly, as usual. 'You don't even deserve his attention now do you?'

And Kira knew he was right.

As he had once feared, the rumours reached his captain at last, and he had came to him one night, exactly the night such a long time ago, Kira was woken with a heavy weight on his stomach and his two arms pinned down, rough lips upon his, and instinctively he lashed out, screaming, throwing Ichimaru off his before he even realised who the intruder was, panting hard and curling into a small, protective ball in fear. That was, until he saw the soft, silvery hair glinting in the dim moonlight.

'Izuru-chan, d'ya hate me tha much?' He felt a soft hand in his hair, carressing, kind. He longed to speak, but he dared not, for Aizen had forbidden him to do so.

'I know der's somethin' wrong...but if ya wouldn't even confide in me, i'd go find out fer myself.'

'There's absolutely nothing wrong, taichou. I was merely shocked,' Kira managed to say in a steady and clear voice, not allowing his anxiety to show through. 'I didn't realise it was you.'

'Ya was neva good at lyin', Izuru...'

By the time Kira looke dup, Ichimaru was gone from his room without a trace, and he was left all alone with the demons of his nightmares and cold, haunting laughter.

A.N: I've decided to do a short one, ahaha! Does it work? I might fast forward again later in the next chapter. Gah. Please do review!! I'll try to do up the next chapter as soon as possible.


	10. Falling into the Trap

Title: Falling into the Trap

Title: Falling into the Trap

Author: Alexis Sacrifar

Pairing: AizenKira / GinKira

Genre: Angst/Romance

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach.

A.N: Even after a long time i still wonder what the hell am i doing this in the middle of my prelims. -stare- What the hell have i written?? Terrible, terrible work.

After that night, Kira saw lesser of his captain. He didn't see him much around in the day, and when they were both alone in the office, he didn't try anything, maintaining a polite distance between them, and never mentioned a word of affection to him again. That so, Kira suspected otherwise - he knew Gin way better than anyone else. He knew that brooding, thoughtful look in his eyes whenever he chanced to look up, noticed him watching way down the corridors, the bref flash of anger in his eyes when Aizen was around, and so on. The challenging look in his eyes whenever he looked at Aizen.

Kira was afraid that Gin might do something silly.

On top of that, he didn't know whether to be happy or not. Gin was back, as he wished, but the seeming coldness Gin showed him with Aizen's taunts pierced him to the heart, sharp and cold as a steel knife, just that this hurt him more. A knife would be swifter. How Aizen would love to see him struggled between extremes. He felt as though he had stepped into mud, and although he knew he was slowly sinking to his imminent death, yet he was unable to save himself as the mud sucked him in, suffocating him. He won't be able to escape.

_I gave you my heart, yet my body is his'._

Occasionally he would see Aizen together with Gin, deep in an arguement, voices low, heated and furious. He didn't know what they were arguing about, and he didn't want to know, since when they saw him, they would stop immediately, Aizen looking amused, and Gin with his feathers still slightly ruffled, before sparing Kira a smouldering glance and sidling away. He longed to chase after his captain, yet Aizen's vice-like grip keeps him in place, and he could only watch his captain leave, as his captor murmurs unimportant words to him.

Every day, every night, he reminded himself that this was the choice he made for his own captain, to exchange his captain's death for his own, condemning himself to a lifetime of...of what? Slavery? Aizen wasn't subtle like Gin, he was straight-to-the-point, understandable - which made it all the more worse. Cynically, he realized that Aizen's taste was abnormal. He liked men. And when he had put up such a righteous front too. Who would have thought? Yet he wasn't one to speak of him such, wasn't he the same too? It surprised him, somehow, that now the more he thought about it, the more repulsive the idea became - it sickened him to the core. And ever since that thought had formed and taken root in his mind, he became more disgusted by any outward shows of affection, mere touches. He knew it pained Gin but he couldn't help himself, his mind was sickened. He wished sometimes that Gin was dead.

_'Don't look at me with questioning eyes, don't talk to me, don't - ' _

He hated his own weakness, blaming it on others and on his captain, worser still. If only he was stronger...what had he pledged before his deceased parents before he left for the shinigami academy? What had he promised to his friends? What did he say when he took the pledge that binds him to Ichimaru's services? Were they all lies, words of empty air? Then what had he been striving so hard in the past for? Nothing? All those times...it was what he really wished to be. Was it so now?

Ink from his brush splattered onto the paper before him, the black ink spreading out across the page. Cursing, he crushed the paper in his fist and lobbed it towards the waste bin with more force than neccessary, causing it to hit the wall and miss the bin. It was so hard to get a grip on his own emotions nowadays. From the windows, Ichimaru turned to study him with quiet eyes, and for once since the day Kira had sworn his love to the man, he realized that he couldn't read the look in those crimson eyes - they reminded him of coppery blood. He was so far, so far away from Gin now.

Snatching up a blank piece of paper, Kira tried to concentrate on the document before him right then. He had let his friends down more than enough, it didn't help to fail his captain as well by delaying division work. Forcing himself to focus, he slowly wrote a sentence on the paper - at least he had something down now, and hope the rest would flow along soon enough.

Ichimaru watched his lieutenant slave away painfully with the paperwork, eyes quiet and pondering, fury undermining that seeming calmness, as his eyes studied the blonde head bent over a work desk, hands moving as he wrote. How much Kira had changed ever since the day he had returned - he had rejected him, shut him out, ignored him...and what had he done? He left for the warfield, both of them reluctant to part, he returned to find abandonment. Kira had gone to such a point that to even telling him a message, he would find someone to pass it on to him. Was he that hated? He wasn't afraid of him - he saw hatred and disgust in those smoldering golden eyes.

Tearing his eyes away from the blonde figure, he returned silently back to the window, casting an eye out over the greenery and regular, white-grey buildings that followed. Aizen came to mind, together with his sudden fury. How _dare_ he touch Kira. How dare he speak Kira's name as he had been given. How dare he!! He didn't know what lies Aizen had been feeding him, what poison he had been given, but he was going to find out, regardless of what Kira had to say. Enough was enough - even if Kira didn't love him, Gin still wanted to protect him. Rumors were buzzing - was Kira going to be the vice captain of the fifth division? Was Kira attempting suicide? There was even something about the man being smitten with Hinamori and was devastated by her death. Like wildfire, it grew. Despite his efforts to silence them, he knew it wouldn't be long before they the ears of Yamamoto sou-taichou.

And Aizen was smug about it, and made no effort to hide it from Ichimaru. In fact, there was no need to taunt him with questions about Kira's well-being, that much he could see for himself - and what Aizen was doing to him. What could he have done, to cause such hatred from Kira? That...no. He shook his head. He shouldn't be making any assumptions before he found out the truth. It was just that he couldn't accept the rebuff, everytime the blonde turned away from him, looked away, pretending that he was invisible. Violent temper that he had, he had to restrain himself from grabbing hold of Kira and knocking him unconscious, demanding a reason - why? Many times he wanted to confront him, and take him there and then, to feel him next to him again. Not that it would really help the situation if he did anyway. Besides, it probably wouldn't help Kira now. Despite his hatred, he could see that sense of helplessness in him, lost, uncertain. It would be up to Kira to make that decision himself.

Now to speak of it, he had noticed bruises and marks on Kira - around his wrists, his neck, down the collar of his uniform...he didn't dare to venture any further. Was kira happy? Like this? Was this his choice?

Or was it Aizen's?

Thinking so, he shuddered in disgust, and was reminded of Hinamori. He couldn't have forgotten what happened, and not what at Hinamori's funeral. What was really going on? He only had to find out.

That night, he slept lightly, figuring that Kira would slip out in the middle of the night to meet Aizen. True enough, he woke up to a cold draft from the door, and an empty futon in the lieutenant's bedroom in the middle of the night. Pulling himself away reluctantly from his sleep-warm covers, he sighed, running his fingers through his hair before pulling on his haori and wandering out.

The night was cold, the silence bliss, accompanied only with the soft whispering of the wind and the occasional cawing of hidden crows. Everyone was asleep - should be asleep. Ichimaru took his own time, appreciating the beauty of the dark,a s well as using it to calm himself down. He didn't know what to expect at all, but he wasn't one to turn back when he had already set out to do something. The sky was unusually dark without its sprinkling of stars, with only a crescent moon to illuminate the earth. The dark would give him enough cover, he decided, not forgetting to suppress his reiatsu. That was before he decided that there was nothing suspicious about a captain taking a midnight stroll in stalk of sleep.

The fifth division was quiet - well, quiet enough, at least. It didn't take him long to sense the pain in Kira's reiatsu that was emnating out from the fifth division office in pulses, each one hitting onto Ichimaru's nerves like a hammer, the pain slowly heightening. Trying his best to suppress hi anxiety, he slowly inched up to the door, taking care not to let his shadow fall over the paper door in case he was found out, and with baited breath, listened to the murmuring within.

'...he hates you so much, Izuru,' Aizen seems to be saying, kira producing some pained muffled sounds. 'You are the cause of it all, do you know?'

A high-pitched whimper.

'Such heroic acts to save him...' Ichimaru heard Aizen grunt. 'Yet he doesn't adknowledge you. He _hates_ you. Such a pity...such _sacrifice_ for a man who doesn't even love you.' Kira replied with a choking gasp, whatever Aizen was doing.

He didn't know how long he had been standing outside the door, eavesdropping, but the rage caught on to him as he pieced the puzzle together. How dare Aizen do that to Kira, _his_ Kira?? After Hinamori, it was not enough? How much more did Aizen want? As he heard Kira's pained cried form within, he gritted his teeth. Never-

The two looked up at him when he flung the door open, white blazing fury in every fibre of his being as he watched Aizen slowly smile, with every bit of slyness and arrogance of a predator, and Kira' tearful, pained and fearful eyes. For a moment, the world was silent, as they confronted each other, unmoving. Then Aizen broke the spell by pulling violently out of Kira, earning himself a suppressed cry from the blonde and a slight start in Ichimaru. Seemingly unconcerned, he slowly got up and put on his glasses as if Ichimaru was not there, uncaring whether or not he was naked, and that Ichimaru was glaring icy daggers at him. But when he looked up, his brown eyes were a hard challenge.

'So,' he said pleasantly, as if greeting a guest. 'We've waited long enough.'

A.N: Sorry for the crappy chapter. I wish i've written more suspense though, but there's no time. Wheres that lj-cut thing??


	11. Confrontation nowhere and thereafter

**Title: **Confrontation – nowhere and thereafter

**Author: **Alexis Sacrifar

**Pairing: **GinKira ( more to be revealed in next chapter )

**Genre: **Angst/Romance

**Disclaimer: **I do **NOT **own Bleach.

**A/N: **And... I'm finally back from a long holiday of hiatus!! Those who subscribed to me should know that i've been writing stories, just that it's Naruto, that's all. Well, here's the next long ( i'm compensating for the time lost ) and boring chapter. Read and review! And don't bite if you don't like it. ( It looks like a filler to me, again ) Oh, and now i'm 16 years old!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY ( to me ) okay sorry. xP

The entire incident 'blew over' quite peacefully and not as violently as Kira had expected. He wasn't included in Aizen and Gin's conversation, so he didn't know much, for he was left lying on the cold floor of the fifth division office in terror and pain, his mind in too much confusion and pain to fully comprehend anything, and only watched as Aizen led Gin into the inner rooms, his mind drifting in and out of consciousness.

As he lay there freezing and afraid, he caught snippets of the captains' conversation. Words such as 'jealousy', 'love', 'pride'... but anxious as he was, he was too tired to care anyway. Later, he dimly recalled his captain wrapping his haori around him and gathering him into his arms and bringing him back to the third division office. Gin had been silent for the rest of that entire night, at least during the times when he was conscious, his captain had only sat beside him, staring down at him with an unreadable expression on his face. Was it pity, disgust or anger? For once, Kira found himself far away from his captain, so detached that he didn't really know Gin anymore. When did he become so unreadable, or had he always been like this? He really couldn't remember. He didn't really spend that much time away from his beloved captain with Aizen, ddi he? Once, he tried speaking to him as his captain stood watch over him as he lay on his own futon, but the brief flash of _something _in those eyes took his voice away.

_That's right... I forgot that he probably hates me now..._ he thought to himself ruefully before losing himself once more to the twisted hazy nightmares that spoke of darkness and pain, haunted by maniacal laughter.

By the time he woke up again, it was noon. Blinding sunlight streamed in through the window, a gentle breeze that floated in cooling him, evaporating the sweat from his skin. Gin wasn't in the room anymore, and somehow Kira felt a pang of regret towards the captain. Pushing himself up into a sitting position on weak arms, he bit back a yelp as a jolt of pain stabbed through his body. His muscles screamed in agony with every move, and sometimes a stab of pain would cause his vision to turn momentarily black. He squeezed his eyes shut briefly against the pain, before forcing himself to stand, his head spinning. It was always like this after every night with that cunning captain, every single morning, but today was just worst than usual, but never once did anything like that deter him from working.

Tottering into his bathroom, he leant over the sink to splash cold water over himself, savouring the feeling of the icy cold water trickling down his face, refreshing his mind, before wandering over to his closet, and caught sight of himself in the full mirror standing next to it, and stopped short. His reflection stared back at him, frail and thin, blue eyes holding fear and uncertainty, that spoke to him of betrayal, pain and loneliness. He hesistantly reached out to the mirror, questing fingers encountering the cool, solid surface of the glass. He didn't know who put the mirror there, but it wasn't him for sure, as he had gotten rid of them a long time ago. How long had it been since he looked into a mirror? He couldn't remember. Now looking at himself, he decided that he really was a wreck, what Aizen had broken him in to be. He was thin, so very thin, his clothes no longer seemed to suit him well, hanging off his sickly frame, and he looked like a plant long deprived of much needed sunlight, pale and sickly. His gaze lowered to his neck, and his breath hitched in his throat, as he gingerly reached up to hook a finger around the neckline of his robes and pulled the white material down.

His skin was marked with bruises and scratches, old and new alike, the dark purple standing out in a stark contrast against his white skin. The older ones were already fading into a light blue, some showing yellow, as he stared at the colors in morbid fascination. It almost seemed like a work of art, an art of violence and abuse, crissed-crossed with thin red cuts and scarring the canvas that was him. Swallowing hard, he tore his eyes away from the horrifying image and tugged his robes back into place and turned away to put on his uniform, hiding all those evidences of abuse. He didn't want to look into the mirror anymore.

He didn't want to be reminded of what he had become.

Gin was already in the office when he arrived, sitting at his desk attending to a pile of documents, which wasn't his usual character – it normally implied that something was wrong. He didn't look up when Kira entered, which was fine with the blonde, as he didn't know what to say or how to react to him as well, and merely made his way to his own neat work desk, which was already waiting with piles of unfinished work. For the next few hours, nothing but silence reigned between them, the only sound the occasional ruffling of papers, but that was all. Not wanting to talk to Gin, he buried his nose into his work, feverishly completing piece after piece, dreading the time when he had to talk to Gin, but the time eventually came ( for he was a fast worker ) and he shuffled the papers all into one towering stack and stood from his desk, hissing as pain shot through his body again, anew. Undaunted, he gritted his teeth and picked up the stack and slowly shuffled his way to Gin's desk, unable to see where he was going, only knowing that he reached his destination when his foot encountered something hard, and gratefully put down his load, re-stacking them into different piles to prevent it from toppling.

"...looks majestic from 'ere, Izuru-chan," Gin muttered dryly, sparing a glance at the formidable wall of documents before him They almost blocked out his view.

"All yours, taichou," Kira replied, waiting for Gin's next order. He watched Gin set down his brush, sighing.

"Are ya sure ya not tryin' ta build me in with a fortress o' this?" His voice sounded amused. "Ya plannin' my death anyday, Izuru-chan?"

Kira froze, the image of Aizen flashing through his mind, whispers of his threat racing through those images. What did Aizen want now? He did everything he wanted him to do – was it because of last night? What was he planning to do now? Was he... going to execute his 'promise'? The mere thought made him clench his fists in anger. "No, taichou," he answered, dreading Gin's next reply. The silver haired captain stood up, seemingly calm, but Kira gasped as he felt his captain's reiatsu climb up at an alarming rate, and staggered backwards, for his reiatsu was weak and was thus unable to withstand the strong ones of the captains'. It took all his willpower to keep him standing as he faced Gin's anger, watched the man slowly making his way towards him, but beneath his fear and apprehension, he knew he wouldn't mind if Gin killed him due to whatever lies that Aizen had fed him, just like how he fed the rest. He would willingly sacrifice everything for him.

"Izuru, Izuru, Izuru..." he closed his eyes as cold fingers touched his cheek, shivering beneath the force of the held back reiatsu right next to him, a dark raincloud threatening to burst anytime. "Why..." A light brush of fabric against his hand. "Ya shoulda told me if ya wanted ta leave me..." The hand trailed down his jawline to his neck, the fingers wrapping playfully around his throat, and Kira flinched. "Ya coulda told me the truth, ya know, instead of deceivin' me... I _believed_ ya... ya didn't have ta let someone else tell me ya dirty stories, Izuru..." He felt the fingers leave his neck to slip into the neckline of his uniform, as Gin leant in to whisper in his ear, his other arm slug casually over his shoulders. "_Ya coulda told me ya wanted me dead in the first place._"

"So now you know." Kira played along, answering tightly after a pregnant pause, his heart constricting in grief. _So this was what Aizen fed him, and he believed it._

"I know everything."

"Yes, that's right – I...I wanted you dead." Even those words made Kira weep inside. Steeling himself, he opened his eyes, assuming the part that Aizen had given to him. "Now that you have found out, what do you intend to do now?

Even though he had prepared himself for Gin's outburst, he still couldn't help but gasp as hands seized his shoulders roughly, turning him around to face the enraged captain, just as Gin's control snapped, his reiatsu a full blown storm, and Kira fell to the floor, crying out as his back hit the ground, Gin pressing down on top of him, fingers digging into his shoulders painfully, and looked up into the furious crimson eyes, feeling like a grain of sand before Gin's fully unleashed anger.

"Why did you lie to me?" Even in his anger, Gin sounded chillingly calm, his voice soft and taunting, mocking him. "Don't you love me?"

"I..." As he lay beneath Gin, he was horribly reminded of Aizen, how the man would exercise complete dominance over him, to strip him of all his defences and power, leaving him naked and vulnerable, and now, he could only lie beneath his captain, staring transfixed, eyes wide in his wake, shaking like a leaf, unable to move and flinched when Gin's hand left his shoulder to slip rudely into his uniform and yanked it down his shoulder, revealing bruised, tender skin. "Don't you trust me? I trusted you – _loved _you."

_I loved you. _

Kira let out a strangled cry as hands choked him, wrapped around his throat and restricting his windpipe – he couldn't breathe. He could feel the blood rushing to his head, his lungs screaming for oxygen, a haze already clouding his vision, and somewhere deep inside, wondered calmly if this was the way he was going to die. He vaguely saw Gin's lips moving, but he couldn't hear what he was saying, a buzz in his ears getting increasingly louder by the second. It would be natural for him to put up a fight, he knew, but his fingers merely twitched, and lay still. If this was Gin taking his life, so be it, a voice reasoned in the back of his mind. Aizen would have another thing to gloat about later. His arms were getting heavier, and black spots dotted out his vision – is it ending now? It was a really sad way to die... he haven't accomplished anything in his life yet, and he had so many promises yet to be fulfilled. Time came to a standstill for him, it was almost ethereal that he was dying. He felt his leaden arms drop back to his side uselessly, the pain already fading away into welcoming darkness. And then, he saw a light shining far away in that darkness, much like that at the end of the tunnel, growing brighter and brighter – and everything was drowned in darkness.

... ...

...

.

He didn't know how much time has passed, as he slowly, painfully regained consciousness, he was dimly aware that he was lying on his back on a hard surface, and that there was a weight o top of him, something lying heavily on his right shoulder. Was he dead? He thought he heard someone sobbing, and felt a light breeze brush past him. Along with his senses, pain came along with his sense of touch as his body groggily woke itself up. His throat felt swollen, and his head hurt – he didn't know pain existed in the life after death, if there was even one. Drawing in a deep breathe, he groggily opened his eyes, and squinted at the bright light, blinking painfully against the white, until it slowly cleared to reveal an off-white ceiling that looked vaguely familiar. There _was_ someone lying on top of him, a hand clutching the front of his uniform, and he caught sight of silver hair at the corner of his vision.

"...who...?" His voice was weak, the word almost inaudible. He wished he could turn his head to look at whoever it was, but his body wouldn't obey him. It was like his mind was separated from his body, existing in a dreamlike state, the pain not quite yet registering in his mind, nothing making sense at all. He felt the person above him shift, and a shadow fell across the light shining down on him.

"...Izuru?"

The man's voice sounded grief-stricken, soft, questioning, not quite believing. Blinking, he shifted his gaze to the man's face, sluggishly attempting to remember who he was. Silver hair, pale skin and thin lips, and more strikingly, eyes of blood that looked down upon him, emotions swirling deep within those orbs, alternating quickly between grief, regret and something else he didn't know. Something wet and cool touched his cheeks, and he realised that the man, whoever he was, was crying for him. It tugged at something in him, and he felt remotely guilty for causing someone to grief over him, and wondered how he could comfort the man, other than managing a soft "Please...sir... don't cry..." He hated being a burden to others, and he hated how powerless he seemed now.

"I-Izuru...? The man pulled back slightly, sounding alarmed. "You don't..." Something seemed to click in the man's mind, and he fell silent, causing Kira to feel that it was even more so his fault. He felt a cold hand slowly stroke his cheeks, wiping away the tears that have fallen there. He couldn't see the man's eyes now, but he could tell that he was still looking at him. Who was he, indeed? He seemed to have forgotten something important... something that shouldn't be forgotten at all. Yet, his mind refused to obey his wishes to remember... It was on the edge of his mind - he _knew _this man, but his name...

He glanced at him again, and studied his features, hoping to get a clue, languidly watching the light glint off his silver hair...

_Silver..._

"...Gin...?" he croaked, and watched the man's eyes widen, only so slightly, before slipping back into his cool composure. The fog was clearing now, and he could remember. Everything. "T-taichou..." He tried to lift his hand, but found that he was unable to do so. He was still lying on the floor of his division's office, having passed out after Gin attempted to strangle him.

_Shouldn't i be dead by now?_

He was taken by surprise when Gin suddenly embraced him, arms wrapping around him just like how they did in the past, reliable and strong. All traces of Gin's anger seemed to be gone now, and Kira could feel the captain trembling, an uncharacteristic gesture, as his body pressed up close to Gin's. "Fer a while there, i thought i lost ya..." he was murmuring, Kira faintly catching the phrases of 'gomenasai'.

It was the first time he ever heard his captain sounding so weak and vulnerable, as Gin sobbed dryly onto his shoulders. "W...what..." his voice cracked with the effort of speaking, his throat still raw. He didn't understand any of this anymore – one moment, Gin was strangling him to death, and the next he was crying about losing him. Which was which indeed? As if sensing his uncertainty, Gin raised his head to look at him, a hand threading through Kira's blonde hair, eyes glittering with what Kira suspected was unshed tears.

"Ya idiot...do you really think i'd believe those lies he told me?? Makin' me worry so much over ya... d'ya even know how... how..." He broke off, and ignored the surprised look o Kira's face, the captain plowed on. "Ya never tell me a single thing, always keepin' something away from me – if there's something wrong, we can always handle it _together_!! I wasn't angry because ya went to Aizen or... I was angry about ya not tellin' me at all!! Don't ya... don't ya trust me?" Something in Gin's voice made Kira speechless for a long time. "Ya didn't haf ta bear all the pain and burden yerself!"

"I-" Kira was taken aback by Gin's sudden outburst. "You-?"

Before he could get the sentence out, he felt lips crushing down upon his own, Gin's tongue probing for an entrance, successfully shutting Kira up, at which the blonde seemed hesitant at first, before returning the kiss with his own strong feelings, tongues twisting around each other in a kiss of passion, once long forgotten now revived. They broke apart a few seconds later, flushed and panting, to get some much needed oxygen, Kira's eyes now downcast, avoiding Gin's gaze shyly.

"Next time... next time if something of this sort happens... promise me ya won't keep it from me..." Gin panted, still trying to get back his breath. "Promise me, Izuru."

He felt a hand grip his chin forcefully to make him look back to his captain, and blushed as he met the bold, straightforward gaze. No matter how violent Gin seemed to be, or how rough he was with him sometimes, he understood that deep down inside he cared for him more than anything else in the world, and that Gin would do anything just for him. Just like how he would.

"Hai, taichou..."

Just then, they heard the office door slid open, and turned to see a small, silver haired boy standing there on the threshold, one hand on the door, and the other carrying documents with a shocked look on his face. Kira suddenly realised how suggestive their current positions on the floor is and pushed Gin off, Gin getting up reluctantly and offering a hand to pull Kira up to his feet as well, looking unruffled despite being caught in his position. Now smiling again, he straightened his clothes, turning to Hitsugaya taichou who seemed to have froze in shock, teal eyes wide.

"I would have thought tha' its polite ta knock before entering, Hitsugaya taichou," Gin was almost singing in delight of having the chance to put the tenth division captain in an embarrassing position. "Wha brings ya ta my office?"

"I...ah. sorry to have disrupted both of you in your..." The child prodigy seemed to regain his own composure again, quickly, his eyes lingering a little longer on Kira in that pause. "Ah... _business._ In case you were too caught up in your work, Ichimaru _taichou_, I did knock before I entered, and in fact a few times."

"Normally when one doesn't answer, it implies that one is busy - " Gin started, grinning maliciously, but was the pushed aside by Kira, not wanting to witness the two captains argue. Gin, with all his slyness and Hitsugaya with his intelligence and cold, indifferent demeanor.

_Trust me, it creeps me out just to think about it!! _Kira thought frantically as he stepped up to the child prodigy. "How may i help you, Hitsugaya taichou?" he inquired politely in a soft voice.

"Hn. I've came personally to your office to give you the documents to withdraw your division members back from the war. I need them signed by today." Handing him the said documents, he caught the questioning look in Kira's eyes. "You haven't heard yet, have you?"

"Heard what?"

Hitsugaya paused for a moment, thinking about something, his gaze passing from Kira's blank look to Gin's apprehensive face, then sighed and ran a hand through his snowy white hair.

"The war ended suddenly this morning. They just withdrew – just like that." He snapped his fingers. "Then it was like nothing happened before." He paused again.

"It was like someone had achieved something they wanted, and left. That's it."

No one saw Gin's eyes narrowing in sudden anger as Hitsugaya departed from the division office.

A/N: And that was the end of it. -stares back- Sorry if it was crappy. I don't think i had a straight mind when i was writing it. / Gomen... review??


	12. Whispers

Sweet Poison

Chapter 11

Title: Consequences

Author: Alexis Sacrifar

Pairing: Gin/Kira, Aizen/Gin

Genre: Angst/Romance

Disclaimer: I do not own bleach.

A.N: I've just got into college, and been really busy lately to write fanfictions... more like my brain's all clogged up with the college stuff to fangirl on stuff, but well. Here is a very short update, sorry to keep you hanging. This might progress slow, but i'll try to finish it!

"Izuru."

"Hai, taichou?"

"I'm bored."

"Then get something to do." An ink drop splattered across the page, a black smudge.

"I have nothin' ta do."

"Taichou. You're the only one not doing any work here," Kira shot back flatly, as his captain lounged in his chair, idly examining his own fingernails from across the room, chin resting on the other hand. It kind of suited his captain, this kind of laziness. Kira could sit there all day just watching Gin idle around. The atmosphere around him seemed so fitting.

The mountains of paperwork behind his captain, however, was not.

"I did," whined Gin unhappily. "I did."

"Doodling all over Hitsugaya taichou's reports aren't work, taichou." On his own, he felt like he was not making any progress at all.

"Won't you play with me~?" Not those eyes again.

kira sighed, and pointedly ignoring Gin, continued his work. Quite a few weeks had passed ever since that incident, and it seemed that everything was almost back to normal. Tonnes of work, lazy captain, no more war - out of all those, he liked 'no more Aizen' the most.

It wasn't that he didn't see Aizen around anymore, however. He did see captain four-eyes along the corridors occasionally, at which Kira would hurry past him silently, as if Aizen was invisible - o rhe was invisible. Either was fine with him. Aizen never did once stop him so far, letting Kira run away from him. But always, always whenever he saw him, Aizen would be looking at him with a strange expression, almost smiling, his hands in his sleeves, looking at him, as if he knew something that he did not. Almost triumph, maybe, yet mocking.

He wanted toe scape from those eyes behind the steely spectacles.

Very often now and then, he would wonder about what had been exchanged between Aizen and Gin that very night. It shamed him, to have been caught in such a position by his captain, no matter willing or not. Gin didn't seem to mind, but he did. A scar in his heart, really. It was humiliating, to say the least, and time won't make the memory hurt any lesser. He did try to bring it up with Gin, wanting to know how he rescued him from that nightmare, and Gin would smile, almost forlornly, a secret locked away behind those smiling lips and mysterious eyes.

He wondered if Gin smashed his fist into Aizen's face and broke his pair of stupid spectacles. Even if Gin did not, the mere thought of it brought him grim satisfaction.

He remembered more clearly now, how Gin flung open the door and stormed in in his silent fury, eyes ablaze, fists clenched with all his hate directed towards Aizen. hE remembered how those blood red eyes had swept across the room, taking in everything there was to see, of things that spoke of his own shattered pride and sham,e and then across him, a flash of something in his eyes as he lay there, a pitiful, broken creature. Then he recalled how Gin had crossed the room in a few strides, as Aizen rose on his feet to face him, and how Aizen put out a hand to stop Gin from getting any closer.

"Tch, tch...keep your temper in check, Ichimaru taichou."

"So says the man who can't keep his hands to himself and his morals in check," growled Gin, teeth bared angrily.

"But you're keeping such a cute pet to yourself. Haven't you thought of sharing?" The look in Aizen's eyes was taunting, as he drew out Gin's fury.

"Ya make me sick tae my stomach. Get your filthy hands off my property, pet or no," Gin snapped. "Never, ever touch Izuru."

"What is he to you that makes him so important to you?"

Ichimaru did not hesitate. Not even a blink of an eye. "I love him. He's mine," he stated coldly, and made it fact.

"Ahh... but it would seem that he came willingly to me-"

"Not so much of 'willing' to me," Gin snarled softly. "Its always your nasty little habit to force people into doing what they refuse to do."

"Of course, you know me best... and i believe you already know what i want," Aizen answered amiably, surveying the silver haired captain behind his glasses. "You already do."

The silence that followed was uncomfortably deafening. Neither men moved. Seconds passed, and minutes. Finally, Gin broke the silence, drawing in a shuddering breath. "Why do you have to go to such extents?" Ichimaru's voice was quiet, somewhat defeated -- hopeless. "Just for..." He saw his captain's fist clench and unclench, Gin's face an unreadable mask, yet his eyes spoke of deep sorrow.

"Don't you find that when people are in their most pitiful state that they are the most beautiful... alluring even?" The cold smile that curved Aizen's lips made Kira feel sick. "So you are-"

"Not here." Gin cut in sharply, throwing a worried glance at Kira. Aizen chuckled knowingly, and opened a door that led elsewhere in his office.

"Of course, everything has a price, and i'm just getting what's mine back..." Chuckling, he followed Gin into the dark doorway, and the door slid shut once again.

It wasn't the first time he relieved that memory, and each time, without fail, his mind would be buzzing with questions. He never did find out, and Gin would not tell, but whatever happened in there, it had made Aizen release his hold on him. Relieved and happy as he is, it still would not, however, stop him from questioning the the incident and from trying to find out the truth.

Arms draping over his shoulders and pulling him into a warm embrace broke his train of thoughts, as a heavy weight settled on him from behind.

"Come play wiv' me~" Gin's whine ghosted over his skin, a soft purr, while he trapped Kira in his embrace. Unfazed, Kira continued writing away.

"If you want, i have a ball of yawn and knitting needles in my drawer if you want to knit." He should really get an award for being able to produce high quality work despite so many distractions in the office. He was probably the most hardworking vice captain in history who has so many blockages in his line of work.

"But knittin'is no fun." Leaning over Kira more, Gin idly reached down to pull open the drawer in Kira's desk, his hand disappearing in it, rummaging about for a while, before re-emerging with a blue ball of yawn with two knitting needles stuck in it. "What do ya have yarn fer?"

Kira colored slightly. "I knit occasionally in my free time."

"Ya really should tell me more 'bout ya hobbies and interests," Gin murmured softly, gently gripping Kira's chin and turning his face up to face him. "I know tae little 'bout ya."

"I thought they weren't important to you," Kira answered, before his lips met with Gin's in a soft kiss that lasted briefly. Still, it left them both breathless by the time they broke apart.

"Everything 'bout ya is important 'ta me," Gin answered amiably, grinning away like a cat who just stole a fish.

A warm sensation spreading in his heart, Kira returned to his work, intending to continue before any documents got delayed ( like it usually did in the past ). It was mutual that they are important to each other, an unspoken secret between them, but voicing it out made it all the more sweeter, like an anchor to a ship, acknowledgment of this mutual relationship. It really couldn't get any better, he supposed.

But life always had surprises.

~T.B.C~

A.N: I'm sorry if the story seems to awkward from the rest, because i haven't been writing in a while, i've become...detached from the story. DX I even forgot my plotline!!!! I hope i'll get around with the chapters soon...

( Will do an lj cut when i get home that has faster internet. College internet sucks. )


	13. Trapped

Chapter 13: Trapped

Author: Alexis Sacrifar

Disclaimer: Don't own Bleach. Ha.

Summary: Out of the frying pan into the fire.

A.N: I'm so sorry it discontinued for a while! D: Now, fast forwards! I looked back to what I wrote to review, and I was like... What the hell is that?! D:

Initially, he thought that he was too tired, and were seeing things that weren't there – bruises and cuts on his captain, shadows under his eyes, and a general paleness to him, if Gin could get any paler, that is. It was only when he got thinner did Kira start paying any close attention to him to see what the matter was.

It started out with small signs, the faint bruises and cuts that, Kira would learn later, Ichimaru had disguised with the help of make-up, the spacing outs while he seemed to be deep in thought, then the apparent lack of sleep, the wanderings at night, and the consumption of alcohol. To his knowledge, Gin seldom consumed alcohol, because as they say, alcohol loosens up the tongue, and it wasn't a secret that Gin was always planning something in the dark unknown to everyone else, and thus Kira knew that something was terribly wrong when Gin indulged himself in it, and vowed to get to the bottom of this strangeness, both because he couldn't have a lax superior, and out of concern for him, as a lover.

Ichimaru, on the other hand, seemed to not notice. Of course he would have, Kira knew, but he was merely pretending not to know, or he just didn't care. He went about on his routines as per normal, or as normal as he could, drifting through the days much like a ghost. Even the characteristic smile that he often wore was gone, only showing briefly, sometimes, when he seemed to remember it when talking to others, or Kira himself. Kira knew that he slipped out in the nights, more frequently nowadays, when he thought his vice captain was sound asleep, only to return before daybreak, exhausted and weary, to rest for a few hours, and wake for work again. Once or twice, the blonde had wanted to tail him, to see what his captain was up to, but never did do it, knowing that he would always be found, and not wanting to invade on his captain's privacy. If Gin chose to slip out without telling him, he probably wouldn't want Kira to know what it was. He never approached Gin directly about it, but the silver fox seemed to know what Kira was driving at, and danced out of reach, much to Kira's concern and worry.

Needless to say, all of his suspicions turned onto Aizen immediately, the number one candidate responsible for all of Gin's strange actions. Although he did not try to confront the fifth squad captain about it, Kira paid close attention to the brown haired man whenever he could, but try as he could, he could not find any clues from him. Both Gin and Aizen ignored each other whenever they chanced upon each other without so much as a word between them. Even though that was the case, it didn't stop Kira from guessing and being wary around him.

Day after day passed, without finding any more clues, Kira feeling like he had been a failure both to himself and his captain. Along with it, he started to notice that Gin was beginning to touch him less and less. It was as though he was trying to distance himself from him, often coming up with excuses and vague reasons as to why. Kira, on the other hand, did not want to pressurise his captain further, and took it as it is. After all, he wasn't exactly a touchy feely person to begin with. But although Gin refrained from touching him, he was still kind to Kira, and didn't stop talking to him whenever he could.

After a while when he was still unable to weasel any information from Gin, Kira decided to, for once, ask his friends for help. They were more social than him, after all, and were in nature born nosier, and more talkative. Seeing how worried the blonde was, the others did not object, and promised to tell him when they got new information. For the good of the third squad, they said. To a better, more hardworking third captain. It put his mind slightly at ease now that he had help, even though it might not necessarily gain him any new information, but help was help.

As it goes, Gin and Aizen both covered up their tracks well, and no one was able to find out anything from them. It was once when Kira chanced upon Gin changing in his room did he learn of anything new.

He had been passing by the door and hearing rustling noises in it, and had peered through the crack in the door. The room was dark, but there was still sufficient light to see by, even though it took Kira a while to adjust to the dimness. Movement drew his eyes to his pale captain, who was changing then, half naked in the room, folding up his clothes, his skin so pale it looked as though it was glowing. But what really caught his attention was the dark bruise that stood out starkly upon that pale canvas that spread across Gin's lower back. Even as he watched, Gin was applying some salve to it. At that, Kira slid the door open, and stepped in without permission.

"Ichimaru taichou! What happened? Were you attacked?"

"Hm?" Gin didn't look surprised that Kira had seen, merely trying to apply the salve onto himself with some difficulty. "This? I fell."

No lie could have been more obvious than that.

"Taichou, no fall could have caused this." Kira knelt down, pushing Gin's hands away, taking over, rubbing the salve into the bruise in soothing circles. The scent of herbs reached his nose, calming him.

"Hm. I was sittin' in this chair, ya see," Ichimaru said. "When it broke I fell along wiv it. That's how. Shameful, ah?"

Kira was silent, rubbing Gin's back, letting the silence speak for him – that he did not believe what Ichimaru had just fed him. Gin, too, seemed content to just let the silence stretch, or Kira just suspected that he liked being touched, like a cat, always craving for attention.

"Ya hav' gentle hands, Izuru," Gin said after a while. "Just like you."

"I'll take that as a compliment," Kira replied, letting the skin absorb the salve.

"Izuru, Izuru..." The man turned then, to cup Kira's face in his hands, long fingers stroking Kira's cheek. "I know ya care fer me an' all, an' ya a nice soul, but... no longer, okay? Ya don't need ta do it anymore."

Kira was surprised, although he didn't show it. His captain's expression was unreadable, neutral.

"I know. Ya friends have bin followin' me. Don't, okay? Its troublesome. And there's nothin' wrong, too," the long fingers traced Kira's features, over his eyes, his nose, his lips. "Nothin' good will come out of this, an' i'm tired of this game."

"Is it Aizen taichou?" Kira asked softly.

"No." Gin's large pale hand ruffled his hair. "Just pretend nothin' ever happened, Izuru. It's over, you, me and him. That's all there is ta it."

The silver fox bent down then, to brush his lips just lightly against Kira's, before he pulled back and turned away, pulling on his uniform once more. Kira stood and bowed, exiting the room and sliding the door close at the silent dismissal. So that was it. A clean break off. Although it was never put into words, what Gin wanted to say was clear : He wanted to break up with Kira. The blonde sighed, moving to the window to look outside and to think. He couldn't possibly concentrate on work today after that. It wasn't as though Kira could forget so easily after everything they had shared and went through together. The bond between them wasn't so easily severed just because of a sentence. It was too deep, too strong, even if none realised it. But he let Gin believe what he wanted to believe, for as long as they were both still captain and vice captain, once Gin sorted out his Aizen problem, he was sure Gin would give him a chance again. But for now, he would be nothing but a nuisance and a weakness to his captain.

From then onwards, Kira acted no different than before, merely as how a vice captain should, executing his duties, assisting Gin if he needed it, nothing more and nothing less. His friends stopped snooping, at his request, but though curious as to why, they did not ask him. Meanwhile, he trained, whenever he could, wanting to be stronger, to not be a target for Aizen anymore, or to be his captain's handicap. Unknown to him, Gin watched his every move, knowing everything the blonde wanted to do, with a heavy unspeakable sadness, only from a distance, no closer.

If only his vice captain could forget everything, Ichimaru thought. It would be so much easier for the both of them.

_After all, no good would come out of it._

It would just hurt more at the betrayal.

Time flew, things continuing on about the same. It all ended then, finally, one fnd day, when Aizen had finally gotten what he wanted and left Seireitei for good with Tousen and Gin. Kira had been present, then, to watch Gin follow Aizen, helpless to change the situation. Gin didn't show any signs of emotion, then, too, avoiding looking at him, somehow. It had all been planned along, this show. Everything was just a fluke, was it not? Aizen was triumph, and he wasn't humble about it, showing it all to them, flaunting their failure in their faces, that he had won, and was also conveying the message that the difference between him and Seireitei was just too great for them to ever be able to cover. Kira could never hope to challenge that, and get his captain back. The only time Gin looked at him was before the crack closed, just a glance, and that was all.

His captain and lover was out of his reach forever.

It occurred so fast, no one had the time to react, and he was numb, the whole incident a cold sudden shock to him. Unable to sort out his feelings, he concentrated on the division, keeping them quiet and consoling them. The loss of three captains at once was no small matter, and it took a long time for the people to settle down once more.

After, when things were put into order once more, he thought, long and hard. Even though Aizen had taken Gin and left Seireitei, somehow, he was sure that their paths would cross again. Nothing ended as easily as that, for the spider had spun it web too tight around his prey, and could not be untangled, and till then, Kira was content to be prey, to keep chasing Gin, as he had his shadow since young, till perhaps the day he died.

A cup of sake shoved into his face roused his from his thoughts, and accepted it as Rangiku chided him to drink his sorrows away. Obediently, he lifted the cup to his lips.

He would train, to prepare himself, until he was capable of finding Gin again, he vowed to the moon.

_Till then, wait for me, Gin._

~End~

A.N: Omg. Long story cut short. DDDD:


End file.
